Peeling the "onion"

Since I love cooking, I have peeled my share of onions. It's how most dishes start out. Onions really are a vital part of a complex flavor profile. And if you peeled enough of them, you know how different they can all be. Some of them are sharper, some of them sweeter, some of them will make you cry. Some can have thick juicy layers, others will have delicate thin ones.

But all have a very sweet lovely center. And yet, that center is sweet and lovely because the outer, tougher parts protect it from the ever fluctuating changes in its environment.

Our horses are very similar. Sassy, my lovely girl, is very sweet, but I had to get past a lot of layers that had a particular sharpness to them. I had to spend the time, effort and most of all patience to peel slowly. To appreciate each layer for its own kind of richness and experience. Each layer was there to protect her. Her physical body as well as her mental and emotional state.

Every experience in life represents a layer in your horse's body and psyche. You either add to your horse's layers, or you peel them away.

One of the things that my instructor, Jim Masterson, used to say frequently is: working on a horse is like peeling an onion one layer at a time. And I found this to be very true.

We sometimes get so wrapped up in getting to the center - reaching our ultimate goal, we forget the importance of those layers - they are important to the horse. He may be protecting a recently injured area, or they may have accumulated over time, they may be in response to a demanding living or training situation, ill-fitting tack. So many reasons can contribute to a horse creating brace and tension in his body.

As a caregiver and bodyworker, it is vital that I work with the horse, not on him. To not just rip those layers away. And the reason?

It is the HORSE who let's go of tension, restriction, brace - my job is to initiate and support this process. Nothing more, nothing less.

Every horse is different, just like the onions. Some of them are sweeter, some of them sharper. Some of them require you to go slow, some of them show you their sweet center right away. Some of the horses I work with let me in right away, some of them require a few sessions where trust and confidence is built. And some start out easy and suddenly have a tough session because we are addressing some deep-seated layers and patterns that require extra careful attention and patience.

But in each case, I have to work WITH the horse, direct, shape and guide - never force. Because my work is peeling the onion, not adding more layers. 

So when I find myself in the situation where the horse says "NO", finding it difficult to let go, or to let me in, I always get quiet, still. It is in the stillness that we find the answer - the way forward, the answer to our question.

As Reverend Ed Bacon said so eloquently (although I am somewhat paraphrasing):

"Find the stillness within. Like a bowl full of silty water - allow yourself to stillness for the silt to settle and to experience clarity."

The next time you feel frustrated, stuck, unsure - be still. Eliminate the chaos in your head. Your horse will thank you.

Making changes - why are we sometimes so reluctant?

Changes and resolutions - it's that time of year when we make them, are excited about them, start on them, talk about them. And by February, most of us have abandoned them, ignored them, pretended we never made them...

And yet, they popped up in our lives because we feel a need. A need for something different. Maybe it's a void we feel, a yearning we have had for a while, a goal we set.

And yet, why do we have the need to change and yet are sometimes so reluctant TO CHANGE?

Since my husband and I are pretty health-conscious, we already have quite a few good habits. And they, of course, help us feel a bit less guilty about the ones that aren't so great! So I got him a really nice juicer for Christmas. I wasn't sure how he would feel about it - juicing sounds time-consuming and well, spinach juice doesn't sound appetizing either!

So before I made the purchase, I spent HOURS doing research.

I mean R E S E A R C H !!!!

The ease of use, the counter space, the CLEAN-UP, how much prep time it takes for the produce, where the juicer is made, noise level, RPMs, durability. I talked to people, watched YouTube videos, read reviews. You name it, I looked at it.

I knew that if the product would not work in our already busy lives, if it took too much time and would be cumbersome, all of our good intentions would not be enough to make it a regular part of our lives. And that's really what it is all about, isn't it?

When we contemplate change, it is typically because we are experiencing discomfort or pain, or even guilt. And we want THAT to change more than anything. It isn't really about the actual thing we are changing, it's the feeling of

• not being good enough
• not being thin enough for those pants/breeches
• not having enough energy
• not having enough money
• not having the right image
• not having the right tack/equipment/horse
• not being or having ENOUGH in some capacity

And that's what we really want to change. So why are we reluctant about it? Because it requires effort. And not just for a day, a week, a month, a year.  We really, in essence, don't have a problem with change.

We struggle with the EFFORT it takes to make permanent adjustments in our lives. Because it takes sustained and on-going effort to see the benefits.

So how do we bridge that great divide between our dream and the effort it requires? How can we overcome this reluctance to PUT IN that effort time after time after time?

By having a plan, by breaking down the original goal of "X" into smaller, doable pieces. By not just understanding ourselves, but also the pieces it requires to make that dream come true.

Small, seemingly insignificant changes over time end up totally transforming your life.

Every DREAM requires transformation on a meaningful level. And this means effort. Yes, there is no way around it. But you don't need to climb Mt.Everest in a day either!

It's not about being perfect, it's about being CONSISTENT ENOUGH to have an impact.

When I designed my program "Performance Through Connection", I thought long and hard what would have the most impact on your relationship with your horse and his/her performance and health.

Your horse's willingness to give you 110% each and every time. And the secret to your success?

Consistent, small changes and LISTENING to what the horse has to say about what is going on with them. Learning how to alleviate stiffness, restriction, muscle soreness, interference with movement.

That's why I include teaching simple, situation-specific bodywork techniques to my clients.

I am good at what I do, VERY GOOD. All you have to do is read the testimonials on my page or speak to my clients (both four- and two-legged!). But your participation can move mountains.

YOUR Dream and it's realization requires YOUR participation!

Short consistent sessions are so beneficial between my visits. They not only allow you to address issues sooner, maintain what I accomplished in my session and also build on it. They also allow you to get to know your horse in a way that is intimate, deep, emotional. It allows you to connect to your horse in a whole new way. It will open up new possibilities you have not even considered. And more importantly, little changes over time will have a huge impact on your horse's performance and connection with you.

PERFORMANCE THROUGH CONNECTION

THE REALIZATION OF YOUR DREAM:

• IMPROVED PERFORMANCE AND HEALTH
• A GREATER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOUR HORSE HAS BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
• HAVING THAT CONNECTION WITH YOUR HORSE
   

So I am going to invite you to make those small changes. Contact me if you are interested in learning more!

And the juicing part? Well, I have to say, my husband is now very excited and makes me a fresh juice every morning! And the benefits are definetely noticeable even after only a week. So yes, a little bit of effort in the morning - big benefits for the rest of the day. Absolutely worth it!

When The Horse Says "NOT TODAY!"

I can already hear you say - but he MUST! Or does he? What if I told you that I found a more effective way - a way where your horse WANTS TO SAY YES? Where he is COMPELLED to work with you?

LET'S CHANGE THE CONVERSATION!

When we think of our interaction with horses and all the advice we get, it is 99% about what we are supposed to DO. But every time we show up at the barn, before we even ask the first thing or open that stall door, our horses already entered a conversation with us. They read our bodies like an open book - our posture, facial expression, the way we walk, talk to other people, the way we approach their stall, if we start handling them but are talking to someone else.

It is ALL a conversation to them.

But to me, the more important part of this conversation is LISTENING. And listening entails we open ourselves up to receive information - including the NO, NOT TODAY! By acknowledging this response, you can connect. Your horse will know you are engaging in a conversation, not a lecture. But what do you do after that?

So often we repeat our request, ask more strongly, or louder and more forcefully. But have you considered softening? Or asking for less? Or taking five steps back and addressing only a part of your original request? 

OPEN THE HEART SPACE AND HAVE THE CONVERSATION THAT MATTERS.

I recently encountered just this situation with a mare I work on every two weeks. This mare is a very sensitive individual - she really tries her best to be cooperative and frankly, an overachiever. She wants to please and connect.

So when this girl says "NO", I better pay attention! Her feedback to me is vital to our success as a team!

In this particular situation, she was very reactive to any touch in her right lumbar/flank area, her entire ribcage on her right side and even her scapula/shoulder area and sternum. And I mean reactive - threatening to kick, ears pinned flat, trying to bite. While she is always honest in her responses to me on what works or doesn't work, this was a response with flood lights!

I could have taken the approach of disciplining her, of telling her she has to let me do what I need to do and just put up with it. But what would the outcome be?

I would loose her trust in me - the trust that I am there to help her and that her feedback matters. She would start bracing internally, shut down and no longer be a partner and participant in our session. Her honesty matters more than I can tell you.

NOBODY KNOWS YOUR HORSE'S BODY BETTER THAN YOUR HORSE!

So how did I proceed? I softened immediately, and when the reactions stayed the same, I back-tracked to just outside of the troubling body part and worked my way in - slowly, softly, always staying under the bracing and reactive response. Since she could not tolerate touch in those troubling areas, no matter how light and delicate, I increased the range of motion in her right hind from below - utilizing different techniques that mobilize the hindleg from the bottom up. By passively assisting the horse in letting tension go in her right hindleg, I was also able to address the nervous system, allowing the horse to create a new response. I worked on softening the big muscles of the hindend, relaxed the spinal column and therefore allowed the pelvis and lumbar area to soften and relax. I worked on the left side of the body. I opened up her poll area, her TMJ, addressed any restrictions in her cervical vertebrae (her neck). This now allowed me a way into her shoulder area and eventually her sternum. I would go back and forth between those adjoining areas and the opposite side of the body.

I never worked directly on those areas that troubled her and caused her to say NO.

Slowly but surely, her defensiveness lessened, her reactions diminished and I was able to work on the body part she originally said NO to. I was able to touch and bring awareness to those areas, allowing a release of those tension patterns and restrictions. Finally the rib cage opened up, the lumbar area softened, the hip started dropping... We were back in balance and harmony.

But the one most important part of the session was to give breaks, to allow the horse to process those little changes and to integrate a different way of being and feeling.

WHEN RELEASING TENSION, IT MUST BE DONE IN A WAY SO THE BODY CAN PROCESS AND INTEGRATE. IF THIS NEW EXPERIENCE OF BEING IS NOT INTEGRATED, IT GETS STORED IN THE BODY IN A HEIGHTENED STATE OF CHAOS - ALTERING THE BODY/STRUCTURE AND EMOTIONS AS WELL.

If your goal is a partnership where your horse is responsive, soft, giving, supple - you must set it up so s/he CAN give you that. This means you MUST allow your horse to enter the conversation in the most honest way. If it means breaking things down into smaller goals, shorter training sessions, filling in the holes in our foundation we so often gloss over, DO IT.

Your horse wants to know his feedback matters, that s/he is heard, acknowledged. Trust is built in very small moments - so let's change the conversation.

Do all horses release tension the same way?

I was recently asked this very question by a new client. Her horse really made me look like a genius! After a few minutes of getting to know each other, he settled right into the session and just went for it.

I barely had to touch him and he let it all hang out!

Yawning - licking and chewing - the whole body shake and shimmy - tongue contortions - eye rolls - weight shifting - passing gas (yes, that's also useful in letting tension go!) - big snorts

You name it, he did it, unfettered by our astonishment and laughter at his expressiveness.

But not every horse releases the same way. Some of them:

• hold it in until I give a break or walk away
• are quite stoic throughout the entire session and release when I am done
• show it in much more subtle ways

So what ARE some of the more subtle ways a horse releases tension? 

• deep sighs
• shifting weight
• deeper breaths
• stomach gurgling

The most important thing is to be tuned in, to stay with them even if it seems like you are watching paint dry.  

Nothing gets a horse to trust you faster than when you are tuned in, and that means you also need to accept that not every horse will give you big and spectacular releases. But that doesn't mean he is letting go of less tension! 

Restriction and tension held deeply and for along time are best released in a slow and gentle way. 

Just as each of us is unique in our response to life, so are our horses. And every horse has something new to teach us if we are willing to listen and connect.

When to wait or move on

I was teaching bodywork techniques to a client the other day. She asked:

HOW DO I KNOW WHEN TO MOVE ON?

My answer was of course - it depends. I think all of us have received that kind of answer in our lives at some point. No matter what hobby, what profession, what skill set you have acquired or are currently working on, there comes a time when we have to move past the technical aspects and become more intuitive and feel our way through a particular situation. This is especially true when you work with another living being. How you interact and respond really depends on the other individual.

Some horses, like my mare, are very sensitive. She tends to release quickly once she learned to trust the process. My gelding on the other hand gets very deeply relaxed but takes his time letting stuff go. So how do you know when it is time to move on?

If you have the time, waiting is always beneficial.

When you address deeply held tension patterns, time is your best friend. They can take a few minutes to unravel and let go. As long as your horse is processing, wait. Sometimes I even walk away or step outside of the stall to help facilitate the release. Some horses even need that personal space. One of my clients has a horse who has the biggest releases as soon as I tell him: I think we are done for today. You should see his face and tongue contortions! While he does release nicely DURING the session, he saves all his best and funniest expressions for last.

However, if you do want to move on because you only have a certain amount of time, don't fret. We can't always wait for longer periods of time. Just be mindful about how you approach the horse again. Enter his space softly, let him know you are there. Don't be hesitant, be soft.

While you may think this only applies to bodywork, I can assure you it has its application in many other ways.

Take for instance the example of you making a request for your horse to back out of your space. How many times have you asked for the backup but did not give your horse the time to think about your request? And when he didn't comply right away, you instantly got loud and insistent.

In my last blog, I mentioned that horses live in the moments of silence between the sounds.

For our horse to be RESPONSIVE to our requests, we have to be RESPONSIBLE for our delivery of that request.

And that delivery also includes giving the horse time to figure out what we asked. Have you ever had your horse give you the wrong answer? I sure have. A lot of the time we tend to get mad and upset about it. But what if you looked at his "wrong" answer as him truly thinking that's what you asked for? Or how about acknowledging that your request was unclear, fuzzy or simply incoherent to your horse? And since you are looking for a response, he gave you SOMETHING?

 We typically want our horse to give us the "perfect" answer every time. But sometimes, we need to meet him where he is at and build on it.

This may mean having to re-explain something, to break the request into smaller components, to stop, re-evaluate, re-engage. It may also mean waiting a few seconds. And sometimes, good is good enough. Not because we want to settle for mediocre, but we realize that on our way to excellence, we have to go through many other stages, good enough/better than yesterday is one of them. 

For instance, when I work on increasing a horse's range of motion in his front end, I don't automatically expect him to go to the max. I see where he is at and slowly ask him to let go of restrictions. This can include different techniques. But I always focus on softness and giving, letting go, giving it to me vs me taking it. It's a huge difference to your horse.

If you allow your horse the time to think it through, you will create trust and relaxation. You are now creating a mental and emotional space where he will no longer feel the need to brace against your requests and demands. He can process it on a much deeper level.

It will also teach YOU to become more conscious and observant of the little things. Of those times when your horse starts asking for clarification or when he tells you of his difficulties to comply and execute. Your communication will become much more subtle. You know how couples with a deep connection can finish each other's sentences? What if you could achieve this kind of connection with your horse?

You can find it - in the space between - in the silence of waiting - in the state of being.

Look into my eyes and see me

I might be dating myself here, but Bryan Adam's love ballad "Look Into My Eyes" has always been one of my favorite songs.

Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me.
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

It's almost impossible to look into a horse's eye and not see his entire being reflected. Their ability to communicate with their body is just incredible. We as humans tend to use words as our main tool to express what we want to say. We sometimes forget that NON-VERBAL communication makes up the majority of how even we communicate and our horses are masters at reading us - all the time.

But non-verbal communication isn't just body language like gestures. Here are just a couple examples - things we don't necessarily think about:

• The space between the two individuals - we all have had a conversation at a party where the other person crowded us? And it makes us feel really uncomfortable, annoyed, frustrated? I can tell you, every horse has their own personal space - their bubble so to speak. And we need to be aware of how we enter it. Or if your horse WANTS you to enter it. Be mindful of that. So many times we ask them to respect our space yet we don't respect theirs.
• How we present ourselves, how we dress, what jewelry we wear, if we comb our hair or wear make-up. My grandmother always said that we dress for others, not for ourselves. My grandfather never left the house without wearing a tie. Granted, they are definetely from a different generation. But this was one of their ways to communicate respect and also says quite a bit about them, wouldn't you agree? The way we show up at the barn, the attention we give to our tack, the quality of tack we use - it all speaks volumes. Take saddle fit for instance - your horse will have a lot to say if the saddle does not fit! How about the bit you use or how it fits - have you really thought about why you are using specific tools and what impact they have on a horse's body? He won't care if your breeches aren't the most flattering to look at, but he WILL care if you don't pay attention to how your tools impact him.
• The speed of our speech - you know how you start racing when you are unsure of the topic or nervous during a presentation? Or how your speech gets clipped and loud when you are frustrated? I know that when I get unsure, I start babbling. Word garbage - we've all done it, right? Just fill the space with SOMETHING! But the most clear message is in the space within - between the sounds. That's where our horses live - the silent space within. Take some time when you communicate with your horse. I recently mentioned to a friend that my mare really taught me the value of waiting - waiting for her to find the answer. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in our partnership.
• The speed we move at, the stiffness or looseness of our bodies, our posture - this can communicate really clearly the state of our mind. It can signal if we are tired, angry, depressed, loving life, needing a hug.  It can also show that we are somewhere else entirely - our bodies might have shown up, but our minds might be miles away. Our horses don't live in this state at all most of the time, the only time they check out is if they have been totally overwhelmed by fear and panic. So if they see this in you, how could they possibly perceive you as trustworthy?
• The soft or hard look in our eye. Try it out for yourself sometime - look at your horse with soft eyes and see how your body feels. Then look hard at him, not mean, just increase your focus, narrow the field of your vision so to speak. You can definetely feel a tension going down your spine. That tension gets communicated and amplified - your horse feels it. 
• The depth of our breath - when we get scared, we hold our breath. When we are angry, we breath very shallow. By changing our breath, we can change ourselves. 

I read this article and it stated that verbal communication was fast, clear and caused less confusion than non-verbal communication. But I have to say, I disagree with this. 

MORE CONFUSION HAS BEEN CAUSED BY PEOPLE SAYING THINGS THEY DID NOT MEAN, AND MEANING THINGS THEY DID NOT SAY.

How many times has someone said to you - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! - and yet, you knew they didn't mean a word of it because their body language said the exact opposite?

I found that learning to read body language and also becoming aware of my own has really helped me become much more clear in how I present myself to horses and how they respond to me.

It becomes a WHOLE BODY EXPERIENCE very similar to how horses operate.

I am now so aware of how I enter a stall, put on a halter, ask the horse to step back or move over, pick up his feet, ask to enter their space and touch them in areas they are typically defensive about. There is no ambiguity between me and the horse - no misunderstanding, no guessing. There is, however, mutual respect and trust. I honor their integrity and honesty, they in turn honor my honesty by allowing me in where doors once were closed tight.

Look into your horse's eyes. Are they hard, soft, worried, angry? How can you adjust yourself to cause a change? If you become consistent in  your non-verbal communication with your horse, your entire relationship will change. He will learn to trust - what you say is what you mean. He will be able to rely on you. Your connection will be deep and honest. He will give you his all, even when he is scared, confused, not feeling well. It's connection.

Look into my eyes - and you will see. 

If you have enjoyed reading this, leave me a comment. If you would like to learn more about what we do here at Healing Hands, give me a call!

The Power of Consistency

I have been working with one of my clients once a month, showing her some basic bodywork techniques to use on a horse diagnosed with chronic Lyme Disease.

If you don't know much about Lyme, it is a bacterial infection mostly transmitted by ticks. The symptoms in horses can mimic lots of other conditions, so proper diagnosis is very important. But so is a good wellness program after the the initial veterinary treatment. It effects the horse's whole system including joints and soft tissue.

I perform bodywork on this particular horse once a month. And we have achieved some really good results, especially since he has a long history of health issues.

But when my client started incorporating these simple techniques into his care, the progress we are now making is just amazing!

One of my horsemanship instructors always said: your best friend is consistency, your worst enemy is inconsistency. This applies to so many things in life, but is especially true when it comes to our horses and their health. Bodywork is not just for recovery from injury or illness, or when your horse is older. It is also a huge benefit to your horse's performance.

When you as the owner/rider/trainer use simple bodywork techniques consistently along with your training program, you will see:

• an increased range of motion
• more suppleness
• faster recovery time
• less fatigue
• healthier joints
• better engagement
• increased responsiveness to your aids and cues
• enhanced balance

These are just some of the benefits - there are also more subtle ones that might not be apparent right away:

• better communication
• increased willingness
• better connection and throughness
• better mental and emotional connection with your horse

So what difference did we see in my client's horse?

We are making progress much faster now in reducing stiffness, restriction and soreness. He is now able to pick up his feet more easily and exhibits a better quality in his gaits. His stamina is better because his workouts can be increased slowly, he shows improved physical condition and less compensation - which in turn allows his rider to build the right kind of muscle and movement patterns., and most importantly, he is happier and has his sparkle, and a bit of his 'Tude back!

Yes, it does take a bit of time, and yes, I realize it's another item on your to-do list. But if you want excellent performance and good health for your horse, investing in a good maintenance program and your own knowledge is time well-spent. The pay-off is worth it.

Email me if you would like to learn more!

He is not releasing as much!

When teaching bodywork/massage techniques to my clients, I always get such pleasure out of seeing them get excited when the horse starts releasing. Especially the big ones like the yawns, the eye rolls, snorts and the whole body shimmy shake!

But inevitably, when you do bodywork regularly, those big releases become a bit more rare. And in a way, it almost feels like a let-down when the horse no longer does them every time we work on them. Because we, as silly humans, get such a kick out of it and want to know we are effective.

But here is the good news!

When the horse releases on a more subtle level, you are not being less effective, you are just going deeper.

Addressing restriction and tension is like peeling an onion - one layer at a time. And the deeper you go, the more subtle it gets. 

Here are some things you may see in lieu of those big releases:

• a change in breathing - you will see his barrel expanding more and he will take deeper and longer breaths
• shifting of weight, especially the hindend
• passing of gas - yes, I know, as weird as it sounds, I get very excited when I see this!
• wiggling of the lips - my horse can get so relaxed he will literally drool
• lowering of the head and neck
• sighing

Those aren't the only ones of course, but this should give you some idea to tune into the softer side of bodywork. It's really actually pretty cool. 

If you are interested in learning more about this, give me a call.

You can't pour from an empty cup

The other day I woke up in the morning and just KNEW - today needs to be a day where I have to take care of myself. Yes, I made the day about me. My body and mind told me unequivocally - you need to rest, regroup, refresh. Because you cannot give what you don't have. This is not being selfish, it is about giving to ourselves so we then have the ability to give selflessly to others. Including our horses and our interactions with them.

YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP

We so often get into the habit of giving, caring, solving problems for others, we neglect ourselves until there is nothing left. We end up emotionally drained, get aggravated, lash out, do a half-baked job at certain things or procrastinate. We get irritated with our horses and other riders, only listen to half of what the instructor is saying, become reactive instead of proactive. And then we expect our horses to fill in the void and put up with our increased level of frustration and lack of patience. Our horses then try to reconnect with us - because they are hard-wired for connection just like we are - by filling in for us. OR they recognize our disconnected state and run for the hills. In either case, you end up with your partner not being in tune with you because he doesn't know how to reach you! 

If you recognize yourself - well, I got some good news for you. YEP, there is GOOD news! Our relationship with our horses is reciprocal in nature on the most basic level. But what does this actually mean when you run on empty? 

Spending time with your horse can help you get back to a state of well-being and balance

Here are three things that have worked for me and my clients. You can take a little or a lot of time with these, but the goal is to slow down - less is more!

1. Take Time Saying Hello - this is probably one of the most misunderstood and under-utilized tools in the horse world. Take your time putting on the halter. Or getting your horse from the paddock. If your horse isn't already engaging with you by the time you walk up, take your time to establish this first. It really lays a solid foundation for the rest of your interaction with him or her. It also allows you to be in the moment and is a great way to stop those racing thoughts in our heads. Take A Breath - many times we only take shallow breaths. By bringing more oxygen into our lungs, we increase the availability of oxygen to all of our tissues, organs, body systems. More oxygen, more energy. And frankly, it's pretty relaxing as well.

2. The Art of Doing Nothing - you will probably question my sanity telling you that doing nothing will be one of the most important tools to achieve your goals. Doing nothing doesn't mean not showing up, it means you drop your agenda of "I've got to do this, achieve that, make this happen, get him to be smoother with his transitions". DOING NOTHING means we learn to BECOME QUIET. One example would be to take a chair and a book out to your horse's pasture and spend some time reading. I've also sat on a bucket in my horse's stall just watching him munch on hay for a few minutes. The goal is to stop doing and tune back into being in the here and now. Sometimes spending five minutes practicing this is all you need to fill up your cup. Some days may be longer. But I do suggest you take some time regularly - you'll be amazed how much calmer you get when you give up on your agenda on a regular basis. It allows for much greater focus and attention when you DO end up riding later.

3. Grooming and becoming AWARE - I typically suggest to my clients to spend some time during the grooming process on this. You don't have to do it every day, but I bet once you see the benefits, it will be tough not to practice this regularly! There are some tools I teach my clients that are simple, effective and really help you connect with your horse. They are designed to show you how to tune back in - to yourself and your horse on a very deep level. The goal is to become aware of your horse's subtle communication to you. It also allows you to stop the incessant chatter in your head and helps you connect to the here and now. You become aware of his breathing pattern, his muscle tone, patterns of tension and restriction. It is also a good way to become aware of your OWN pattern of breathing. You will start noticing where YOU hold tension. And it will give you ways to let go of those patterns within you - physically and mentally. Once you let go, so can your horse. That's why I love it - they become such good measuring points for our own well-being. I challenge you to try it, I am still amazed how much I myself benefit from my sessions with each and every horse.

One of the hardest lessons I learned was: don't expect more from my horse than I expect of myself. This is especially difficult on days when we are tired. So take some time to fill up that cup again. 

Because you can't give what you don't have.

The importance of softness

While I was working on my own horse Chase the other day, he reminded me once again how important it was that I stayed soft. You see, sometimes we get so wrapped up in achieving the outcome, we forget to stay in the moment.

Chase gets regular bodywork (yes, both of my horses are pampered!), working on your own horse tends to be challenging. You know them so well, you tend to come to the session expecting certain things.

THE LEVEL OF YOUR AWARENESS IS IN DIRECT CORRELATION TO YOUR SUCCESS

Chase started to fuss during the session. What I didn't notice was the tension in my body, even though I had learned to stay aware. Since he is so tuned into me, he felt it of course.

Horses are our mirrors - on every level.

As soon as I softened my hand, my wrist, my arm, my shoulder - as soon as I let go of MY tension, he was able to let go of his.

There is a great saying by Lao Tzu

Water is fluid, soft ,and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: Whatever is soft is strong.

To become soft and yielding with our horses, we MUST be aware of the tension within ourselves. We must learn to let go of preconceived notions, expectations, wants, desires. We most learn to BE. When we let go, so do our horses.

Now, you may ask: I have GOALS, I can't just do this new-agey stuff of BEING!

But that's how our horses live, every day, every moment. And if they mirror us, we MUST present ourselves the way we want them to BE.

SOFT - FLUID - YIELDING

IF YOU WANT HIGH PERFORMANCE AND CONNECTION, THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST BECOME.

Softness and Awareness are the key components in working with horses. They are the most important principals for impeccable communication and high performance. No matter how good you are at the technical aspects, if you are tense, stiff, hard and unyielding, your horse will feel it, respond to it, defend himself against it, become exactly that.

Become aware, become soft, yield.

Contact me if you are interested in learning some tools to achieve this - your horse will love you for it!

Fix it or maintain?

I was recently asked why I counsel my clients to have their horse worked on regularly instead of coming out when things need "fixing" so to speak. So I used the analogy of owning a car.

Most of us can relate to this. When you get a car, you have to do certain things to keep it going. You obviously have to put in gas and you hopefully have a garage to park it in. But that's not all. You perform oil changes, check the tire pressure, check the fluids, take it to the car wash. What would happen if you didn't do any of these things? Would your car operate? Of course, but then problems would pop up and now you have to fix them, and the car would never really run the same because some damage can't be fixed.  And even though you fixed the issue, problems keep popping up. You spend money on the mechanics and parts, you are frustrated because the car is in the shop again. You have to get a rental or play musical cars while it's in the shop...you get the picture. It's frankly an inconvenience. If you are interested in performance, responsiveness and maintaining your investment in your car, you would have a regular maintenance program.

The same principles apply to your horse, especially if you ride/train/show regularly. Your training/riding schedule is like putting miles on your car. It takes more than good feed (gas in the tank) and a nice stall (parking in the garage) to have a well-performing partner. To get the best performance from you horse, his soft tissues such as muscles, tendons and ligaments and his joints need to function well. Kind of like a well-oiled machine if you don't mind the pun. 

With a regular program, you are able to reduce or eliminate stiffness and soreness, increase range of motion and create greater balance, increase responsiveness to your aids and requests, and all together achieve better performance. 

But more importantly, you become increasingly aware of when things just aren't right. You will change your perception when your horse is showing resistance or isn't performing quite as well. You become more in tune with him by gaining a greater awareness of how his body works and how you can influence him, and in turn, your horse will not only trust you more, but he will also tune more into you. You frankly gain not just another tool to help you achieve YOUR goals, you gain an entire tool box. 

And when your horse knows you get what he is communicating, you become a better team. 

Send me an email if you are interested in learning more about my program "Performance Through Connection". I'd love to show you what's possible.

Always Do Your Best

And last but not least - Agreement Number 4 from "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz:

Always Do your Best

Have you ever come to the barn and just couldn't bring yourself to give it your all? I certainly have. Maybe I didn't feel well, or I stayed up too late the night before, or it's just too blazing hot outside.  

What constitutes our "best effort" changes every day.

Some days we have more energy, other days we barely have enough to show up. But one thing I learned: when you decide to do your best, you give it your all no matter how much you have left in you. It actually re-energizes you. What "your best" looks like on that day though can change significantly. 

Going through the certification process in the Masterson Program is just one example. It is a very thorough program designed to teach potential practitioners not just about equine body mechanics but also how to connect the dots and how to work WITH the horse. During one of the phases we worked on horses for 7 days straight.  We went back to the hotel tired, sore, sweaty, our minds brimming with the information. Not just the theoretical stuff, but also every little thing the horses taught us. Reading their behavior, responding to them. Horses we had never met. Horses who had never experienced bodywork. Performance horses, retired horses, horses with physical issues. Each one had something to teach us. It was like trying to take a sip of water from a firehose. And yet, every morning, our class would get up and do it all over.

My reason: Because I love what I do. Doing my best is a default with my work. I am lucky, very lucky to have found my passion.

But what about those times when you dislike a certain task? For me, it's house work. Especially doing laundry. I can't tell you why I'd rather scrub buckets or clean tack, I just do. Can I challenge myself to do my best even when I don't feel like doing it? I noticed that not giving it my best actually was draining to me. And yet, when I did give it my all, I still didn't like doing laundry but I felt a sense of accomplishment. 

So maybe the next time you don't feel like practicing your equitation, or you are just too tired to give your horse a thorough grooming, do it anyway. Give it your best. See if it makes a difference. 

I'll let you know how it goes with my laundry!

Don't Make Assumptions

I recently read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and was inspired by the simplicity of those principals. So this is my take on the third one:

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

How I love this one - because I am just as guilty as anyone else! Let's take the following examples:

• stubborn as mule
• my mare is such a witch
• he is just so stubborn
• she won't let you do that
• he has always been that way
• he is choosing not to listen to me

I am quite sure you have your own list, as I have mine. The beauty of my work - it absolutely REQUIRES me to set all of it aside and start fresh, even with horses that I have worked with for a long time. Just because a horse had difficulty with something during the last session does not mean I will find the same the next time. Just because a mare won't allow her owner to touch her previously injured left hind does not mean I won't be able to.

Letting go of assumptions allows me to receive information and what the horse has to say in a different way. It clears the fog so to speak. It creates opportunities to see things from a different perspective, to really listen, to become aware, to be HERE, NOW. It's one of the most important lessons I learned from my horses. When you stop making assumptions, you really are living in the moment. 

It can totally and completely transform your relationship with your horse.

AND THAT'S WHAT I OFFER TO YOU IN MY PROGRAM - PERFORMANCE THROUGH CONNECTION.  

Why should you sign up and work with me?

• increased performance
• increased willingness
• better communication
• increased wellness
• less pain
• improved connection on ALL levels

If you would like to know more about how I can help you achieve this, send me an email.

Don't take anything personally

If you read my recent blog "Be impeccable with your word", this is my take on the second agreement from the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz: 

"DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY" definetely applies to our relationship with our horses. 

If you ever had the privilege of being owned by an equine with strong opinions and feelings, you will know EXACTLY how this comes into play! You see, horses don't wake up in the morning and think:

I am going to get her. I don't want to do my job, so I am going to be difficult about being tacked up! I just live for making it difficult for her! I just don't want to work today.

They simply don't function this way. When your horse resists, it's not because he wants to tick you off, make your day even harder, not do his job, or all the other reasons we come up with. He is protecting himself for reasons we may not find valid  and it is our responsibility to figure out why.

When I have a horse that resists in a bodywork session, I ask myself this:

• Is it because he is in pain in a certain area?
• Is it because moving the joint through that range of motion is difficult?
• Is it because I am asking for too much? 
• Is he protecting an injury?
• Is he scared about something, e.g. his buddy was just turned out and he is not used to being alone in the barn?

Most of the time, it requires me to

• back up

• be more clear in what I ask and HOW I ask

• maybe ask for less or slow down (REALLY slow down)

• build on that

Maybe I AM tense and frustrated and this effects the horse. I recently wrote a blog "Can you feel me now" about a time when I did not check myself and the horse in turn could not relax. As soon as I did, so did the horse. 

So the next time your horse doesn't seem to cooperate, check in with yourself. Look at it from his point of view. Because his behavior isn't really about making your life more difficult. It's about where he is mentally and emotionally at this particular point in time and maybe even a reflection of you.  So if you can view it as an opportunity to show your horse that he can rely on you no matter what, your partnership will be a lot stronger for it.

It is TOTALLY achievable, and I can give you some tools to make this happen. Email me if you are interested!

Be Impeccable With Your Word

I recently finished reading "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It had been on my bucket list of books for quite some time. But for some reason, I felt compelled to finally move it to the top. And while reading it, I realized how much those four agreements apply to our life with horses. 

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don't take anything personal
• Don't make assumptions
• Always do your best

So I thought it'd be great to have a conversation about them. 

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD - So What does this actually mean in regards to horses? 

How many times have you uttered "he is just being a jerk" or some other nice attributes we give our horse? "She is a B&*^%". "He is just stubborn". "Why does she have to be so difficult?"

We say some pretty harsh things about our horses - I have done it myself. But are those statements actually true? Or are we looking at our horse's behavior through the lens of our own frustration, anger etc? 

When I work with horses I don't know, I typically get the background - and the owner's description of who their horse is. And yet, the horse typically tells me a very different story. When we say those negative things, it carries energy with it and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - we make the agreement with ourselves that this is the way our horse is. We assign this label because it gives us a way to categorize what is going on and a way to reference and talk about it with others. AND, we can then make it about our horse, we now can find ways to address HIS behavior. We don't have to focus on what we bring to the table.

But for me, a better starting point is to have a conversation with your horse.

Not too long ago I was chatting with someone about horses being resistant and "misbehaving". How we use equipment, tack and training techniques to deal with these situations. I commented that in my experience, horses don't cooperate for a handful of reasons:

• they don't understand our request because they have not been taught
• they have difficulty doing what we are asking of them because they are hurting
• they simply aren't physically capable of doing it
• we are not clear in our request of the horse.

And when you look at it this way, you realize that it is not the horse that needs to change. WE have to take the responsibility to change.

Either by being more clear in our request, by breaking the request down into smaller components, by asking for less and building on it.  We need to become impeccable in our communication and not use our words to diminish our horses. Our words are the tools we create our reality with. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our character. So when we say these negative things, we create an antagonistic reality for us and our horses. 

When you not only focus on YOUR request but also allow the horse to respond and have a say, you have the ability to form a partnership that benefits both of you. It preserves your horse's goodwill and his dignity. It creates trust and connection. 

Be impeccable with your word. 

How do I know if my horse is relaxed?

I recently watched a show with a well-known horse trainer. I like seeing how others work with horses because I always learn and it helps me increase my own awareness.

During the show, this trainer was saddling a young mustang filly for the first time. He kept talking about how there is no need for violence and how calm and accepting the filly was. Having worked with so many horses, you bet I know what relaxed looks like. I also have learned the opposite, I have learned to recognize tension even when a horse is standing still, seemingly accepting of what is happening. So even though the filly was accepting the work, she certainly wasn't relaxed about it. In fact, she froze. 

Now, you might say, OF COURSE the horse is going to relax when you work on him! You are not trying to saddle him for the first time!

Well, let me tell you, my work isn't just all warm and fuzzy. I have worked with some truly opinionated individuals. You see, my work sometimes entails asking the horse to put a leg into a position that is slightly uncomfortable at first, or he has a lot of tension in his poll and wants nothing to do with me releasing it or even touching his head. My job is to find a way in without creating more stress, anxiety and frustration. It requires me to:

• establish rapport and communication
• trust
• cooperation
• relaxation

So how do I know if a horse is relaxed? Here are some things I look for:

• Softness of the eye
• an overall softening of the body
• deeper breaths or breathing at all
• resting one hind leg
• lowering of the head
• closing of the eyes
• relaxing of the lower lip

And that's just the start!

So why is relaxation so important? Relaxation and staying under the horse's bracing response allows your horse to let go of tension physically, mentally and emotionally. It is the cornerstone to increase his range of motion and improve suppleness and flexibility, it facilitates trust and communication. It creates connection on a very deep level.

My program - Performance through Connection - not only incorporates professional body work but also teaches owners how to read their horse, achieve clearer communication and establish this deep connection.

If you are interested in learning more about my program, drop me a note. 

And if you liked this blog, please share it.

He is loving life right now!

One of my clients and also a friend, Vicky Zionts, recently sent me this message: 

"He is loving life right now!"

She was of course referring to her horse Dude (in the picture if you were wondering) who I had just worked on a couple days before. She even sent me a short video showing him cantering freely in the pasture. I can tell you, it made my day. 

Her horse has a long history of on-off lameness and it caused her quite a bit of frustration. Even though her favorite activity is to just hang out with him, she obviously also wants to ride and make sure he is sound and healthy. And having him be sore and stiff, limping along and not being able to play and run was really effecting her. She decided to invest in a regular maintenance program for her horse.

Having had injuries myself, I can tell you how important it is to keep your body healthy, flexible and strong. A good diet, plenty of rest - all those are important. And exercise is important as well. But how do you exercise when it hurts? When you just can't seem to find a comfortable way of using your body? That's where regular bodywork can really help. Horses are incredibly good at giving feedback on what works and what does not. It's important to be tuned in as a practitioner. To not just work ON the horse, but WITH him. 

Being able to see her horse happy and cantering really was priceless. It's what we all want for them.

If you have thought about Equine BodyWork but are not sure what to look for in a practitioner, pick up my free guide - available at my website.

Email me if you would like to learn more about how I can help your horse to love his life.

Can't you just make me a list?

I recently was teaching a client some body work techniques so she could maintain her horse's health in-between my sessions. During that half hour of me coaching her, the horse was able to release a lot of tension resulting in an increased range of motion and deep relaxation. The emphasis was not on how many techniques I can teach a client in a session, but to show what the horse is communicating and how to adjust your techniques to him or her.

That's why my program - Performance Through Connection - is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Yes, there are some overlying principles that apply to general body work sessions. But as each horse is a unique individual, so are you as the owner or trainer. You each have strengths and weaknesses that I need to incorporate and address during our sessions. An example would be someone with some back problems and how to modify techniques and use good biomechanics so you don't get hurt in the process of helping your horse! 

So you see, I can give you a list of techniques, but some of them may not be appropriate for you or your horse. We all want our horses to perform better, be healthier, have fewer injuries. But we also want them to be more responsive, more trusting, show less resistance.

My program - PERFORMANCE THROUGH CONNECTION - not only includes a body work session on your horse by me but also educates you. In my experience, if you become more aware of your horse's body, you are able to address issues sooner. Be it stiffness, muscle soreness, training and performance issues. That awareness helps create a connection between you and your horse - one built on trust, understanding, respect, but most of all clear communication. When you start listening to your horse, you will be amazed how much less talking you will have to do. 

If you are interested in learning more about my Program, I would love to talk to you. Give me a call, email me or comment below.

Love Liberates

I recently came across this YouTube video of Maya Angelou - Love Liberates. It was a beautiful homage to her mother - imperfections and all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbecKv2xR14

But what struck me the most was how it applied to our relationship with horses. Most of us have horses because we love them. It is not a hobby or passion for the fainthearted after all!

But how many times do we really allow our horse the freedom to be who he truly is? How many times do we "make" him do his job, silence his voice, disregard his expression of discomfort?

"He has a GREAT life!" we say. He gets fed, has a nice comfy stall, never has to worry about predators, or where his next meal comes from. He gets the best feed, I only ride him for an hour.... you know it all too well. I've said those same things myself. And I am not suggesting we all just open all the gates and doors and let our horses run wild and free.

What I am asking is:

• Are you listening?

• Do you see?

• Can you feel his breath?

• Are you aware of his slight worry, or his joy?

My mare Sassy was and still is one of my greatest teachers. I fell in love with her because of her spirit. It was big, expansive, powerful - and yet extremely sensitive at the same time. She was uncompromising in who she was when I first met her, and she still is. Anyone who tried to MAKE HER DO IT quickly found out otherwise. She was defensive, distrustful, reactive with a BIG personal space bubble, especially with other horses. She taught me how important it was to her to be herself, to have a voice.
And then I changed: She was allowed to say "I am scared", she was allowed to say "I don't want to be touched there", she was allowed to have a melt-down.

My responsibility rested in providing a safe space to do it. To "have her back" so to speak. BodyWork was huge with her - it gave me an "in". Gentle techniques, short sessions, softness - they allowed her to release stored up tension. And by releasing those tension patterns, she slowly also started releasing those behaviors, her distrust, her anger and frustration. Because I started listening, she started communicating. Because I started asking instead of demanding, she started listening and cooperating. Because I learned to understand HER, she started to trust.

You may ask: why didn't you just show her who is boss? You are going to get yourself killed being this warm and fuzzy with this woo woo stuff! I can honestly tell you, I did. I am actually quite good at being assertive - but Sassy didn't need me to be a boss. She needed space to be herself - and I loved her enough to give it to her. To get out of my head and into my heart - I can tell you that without a doubt - she liberated me as much as I Iiberated her. She helped me to find my OWN voice as I helped her find hers. I learned to value the subtle things, the quiet moments, the content look in her eye. And her ability to love me now on those days when I AM not my best is the greatest gift of all.

Lessons from a mini donkey

I love sometimes to just spend time with my own two horses, Chase and Sassy. I typically take a lawn chair, a book and some water and we hang out. It's a nice way of recharging myself and get to spend time with them. I call it THE ART OF DOING NOTHING.

But sometimes, my horses and their little sidekick Lennard have their own agendas. You see, Lennard thinks I am his lady. He will wedge himself between the horses and myself, if you shoo him away, he is back 30seconds later and if I don't pay enough attention to him, he will pick up any kind of object, typically a little feed pan, and start whacking it against my legs!

One of the funniest things happened when I wanted some quiet reading time. Typically I will put the chair out and my horses mill around me, including Lennard. However, this time, all three came over, my horses sniffed me and then proceeded to head towards the back of the paddock leaving Lennard to keep me company. It was almost like coming over to be a babysitter so Mom and Dad could have some quiet time!

As I sat and read, or at least tried to, managing Lennard became quite the job. He nibbled on my book, tried to steal the water bottle, brought me the feed pan - you get the picture. After half an hour, I thought he had finally settled until I noticed him backing up towards me. I was quite curious. Typically a horse or donkey backing up is not something you would like to see and experience! But it felt different. He was very deliberate but gentle. So I decided to see where this was going. He kept coming closer and closer, backing up at a right angle to my legs one step at a time until he was right against me. And then.... wait.... he sat in my lap! His two little hindlegs totally off the ground. Talk about my jaw dropping! I ended up laughing because, well, you should have seen the look on his face when he looked back. He was SO PROUD of himself. Of course my laughing hysterically scared him and he jumped off my lap and ran off. But he was back doing the same just a minute later. This time he stayed a bit longer. It was really quite comical. And one of my favorite stories ever.

You see, if I had just acted on what I had been taught, I would have missed a great opportunity to see how smart Lennard really is. I am so glad I didn't listen to all those voices in my head but instead tuned into him, became aware of his intention and allowed a really cool thing to happen.

Awareness - it can change the way you experience life. And it can change the way you connect with your horses.