Don't take anything personally
If you read my recent blog "Be impeccable with your word", this is my take on the second agreement from the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz:
"DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY" definetely applies to our relationship with our horses.
If you ever had the privilege of being owned by an equine with strong opinions and feelings, you will know EXACTLY how this comes into play! You see, horses don't wake up in the morning and think:
I am going to get her. I don't want to do my job, so I am going to be difficult about being tacked up! I just live for making it difficult for her! I just don't want to work today.
They simply don't function this way. When your horse resists, it's not because he wants to tick you off, make your day even harder, not do his job, or all the other reasons we come up with. He is protecting himself for reasons we may not find valid and it is our responsibility to figure out why.
When I have a horse that resists in a bodywork session, I ask myself this:
- Is it because he is in pain in a certain area?
- Is it because moving the joint through that range of motion is difficult?
- Is it because I am asking for too much?
- Is he protecting an injury?
- Is he scared about something, e.g. his buddy was just turned out and he is not used to being alone in the barn?
Most of the time, it requires me to
back up
be more clear in what I ask and HOW I ask
maybe ask for less or slow down (REALLY slow down)
build on that
Maybe I AM tense and frustrated and this effects the horse. I recently wrote a blog "Can you feel me now" about a time when I did not check myself and the horse in turn could not relax. As soon as I did, so did the horse.
So the next time your horse doesn't seem to cooperate, check in with yourself. Look at it from his point of view. Because his behavior isn't really about making your life more difficult. It's about where he is mentally and emotionally at this particular point in time and maybe even a reflection of you. So if you can view it as an opportunity to show your horse that he can rely on you no matter what, your partnership will be a lot stronger for it.
It is TOTALLY achievable, and I can give you some tools to make this happen. Email me if you are interested!