Look into my eyes and see me

I might be dating myself here, but Bryan Adam's love ballad "Look Into My Eyes" has always been one of my favorite songs.

Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me.
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

It's almost impossible to look into a horse's eye and not see his entire being reflected. Their ability to communicate with their body is just incredible. We as humans tend to use words as our main tool to express what we want to say. We sometimes forget that NON-VERBAL communication makes up the majority of how even we communicate and our horses are masters at reading us - all the time.

But non-verbal communication isn't just body language like gestures. Here are just a couple examples - things we don't necessarily think about:

• The space between the two individuals - we all have had a conversation at a party where the other person crowded us? And it makes us feel really uncomfortable, annoyed, frustrated? I can tell you, every horse has their own personal space - their bubble so to speak. And we need to be aware of how we enter it. Or if your horse WANTS you to enter it. Be mindful of that. So many times we ask them to respect our space yet we don't respect theirs.
• How we present ourselves, how we dress, what jewelry we wear, if we comb our hair or wear make-up. My grandmother always said that we dress for others, not for ourselves. My grandfather never left the house without wearing a tie. Granted, they are definetely from a different generation. But this was one of their ways to communicate respect and also says quite a bit about them, wouldn't you agree? The way we show up at the barn, the attention we give to our tack, the quality of tack we use - it all speaks volumes. Take saddle fit for instance - your horse will have a lot to say if the saddle does not fit! How about the bit you use or how it fits - have you really thought about why you are using specific tools and what impact they have on a horse's body? He won't care if your breeches aren't the most flattering to look at, but he WILL care if you don't pay attention to how your tools impact him.
• The speed of our speech - you know how you start racing when you are unsure of the topic or nervous during a presentation? Or how your speech gets clipped and loud when you are frustrated? I know that when I get unsure, I start babbling. Word garbage - we've all done it, right? Just fill the space with SOMETHING! But the most clear message is in the space within - between the sounds. That's where our horses live - the silent space within. Take some time when you communicate with your horse. I recently mentioned to a friend that my mare really taught me the value of waiting - waiting for her to find the answer. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in our partnership.
• The speed we move at, the stiffness or looseness of our bodies, our posture - this can communicate really clearly the state of our mind. It can signal if we are tired, angry, depressed, loving life, needing a hug.  It can also show that we are somewhere else entirely - our bodies might have shown up, but our minds might be miles away. Our horses don't live in this state at all most of the time, the only time they check out is if they have been totally overwhelmed by fear and panic. So if they see this in you, how could they possibly perceive you as trustworthy?
• The soft or hard look in our eye. Try it out for yourself sometime - look at your horse with soft eyes and see how your body feels. Then look hard at him, not mean, just increase your focus, narrow the field of your vision so to speak. You can definetely feel a tension going down your spine. That tension gets communicated and amplified - your horse feels it. 
• The depth of our breath - when we get scared, we hold our breath. When we are angry, we breath very shallow. By changing our breath, we can change ourselves. 

I read this article and it stated that verbal communication was fast, clear and caused less confusion than non-verbal communication. But I have to say, I disagree with this. 

MORE CONFUSION HAS BEEN CAUSED BY PEOPLE SAYING THINGS THEY DID NOT MEAN, AND MEANING THINGS THEY DID NOT SAY.

How many times has someone said to you - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! - and yet, you knew they didn't mean a word of it because their body language said the exact opposite?

I found that learning to read body language and also becoming aware of my own has really helped me become much more clear in how I present myself to horses and how they respond to me.

It becomes a WHOLE BODY EXPERIENCE very similar to how horses operate.

I am now so aware of how I enter a stall, put on a halter, ask the horse to step back or move over, pick up his feet, ask to enter their space and touch them in areas they are typically defensive about. There is no ambiguity between me and the horse - no misunderstanding, no guessing. There is, however, mutual respect and trust. I honor their integrity and honesty, they in turn honor my honesty by allowing me in where doors once were closed tight.

Look into your horse's eyes. Are they hard, soft, worried, angry? How can you adjust yourself to cause a change? If you become consistent in  your non-verbal communication with your horse, your entire relationship will change. He will learn to trust - what you say is what you mean. He will be able to rely on you. Your connection will be deep and honest. He will give you his all, even when he is scared, confused, not feeling well. It's connection.

Look into my eyes - and you will see. 

If you have enjoyed reading this, leave me a comment. If you would like to learn more about what we do here at Healing Hands, give me a call!

The Power of Consistency

I have been working with one of my clients once a month, showing her some basic bodywork techniques to use on a horse diagnosed with chronic Lyme Disease.

If you don't know much about Lyme, it is a bacterial infection mostly transmitted by ticks. The symptoms in horses can mimic lots of other conditions, so proper diagnosis is very important. But so is a good wellness program after the the initial veterinary treatment. It effects the horse's whole system including joints and soft tissue.

I perform bodywork on this particular horse once a month. And we have achieved some really good results, especially since he has a long history of health issues.

But when my client started incorporating these simple techniques into his care, the progress we are now making is just amazing!

One of my horsemanship instructors always said: your best friend is consistency, your worst enemy is inconsistency. This applies to so many things in life, but is especially true when it comes to our horses and their health. Bodywork is not just for recovery from injury or illness, or when your horse is older. It is also a huge benefit to your horse's performance.

When you as the owner/rider/trainer use simple bodywork techniques consistently along with your training program, you will see:

• an increased range of motion
• more suppleness
• faster recovery time
• less fatigue
• healthier joints
• better engagement
• increased responsiveness to your aids and cues
• enhanced balance

These are just some of the benefits - there are also more subtle ones that might not be apparent right away:

• better communication
• increased willingness
• better connection and throughness
• better mental and emotional connection with your horse

So what difference did we see in my client's horse?

We are making progress much faster now in reducing stiffness, restriction and soreness. He is now able to pick up his feet more easily and exhibits a better quality in his gaits. His stamina is better because his workouts can be increased slowly, he shows improved physical condition and less compensation - which in turn allows his rider to build the right kind of muscle and movement patterns., and most importantly, he is happier and has his sparkle, and a bit of his 'Tude back!

Yes, it does take a bit of time, and yes, I realize it's another item on your to-do list. But if you want excellent performance and good health for your horse, investing in a good maintenance program and your own knowledge is time well-spent. The pay-off is worth it.

Email me if you would like to learn more!

He is not releasing as much!

When teaching bodywork/massage techniques to my clients, I always get such pleasure out of seeing them get excited when the horse starts releasing. Especially the big ones like the yawns, the eye rolls, snorts and the whole body shimmy shake!

But inevitably, when you do bodywork regularly, those big releases become a bit more rare. And in a way, it almost feels like a let-down when the horse no longer does them every time we work on them. Because we, as silly humans, get such a kick out of it and want to know we are effective.

But here is the good news!

When the horse releases on a more subtle level, you are not being less effective, you are just going deeper.

Addressing restriction and tension is like peeling an onion - one layer at a time. And the deeper you go, the more subtle it gets. 

Here are some things you may see in lieu of those big releases:

• a change in breathing - you will see his barrel expanding more and he will take deeper and longer breaths
• shifting of weight, especially the hindend
• passing of gas - yes, I know, as weird as it sounds, I get very excited when I see this!
• wiggling of the lips - my horse can get so relaxed he will literally drool
• lowering of the head and neck
• sighing

Those aren't the only ones of course, but this should give you some idea to tune into the softer side of bodywork. It's really actually pretty cool. 

If you are interested in learning more about this, give me a call.