Sometimes horse ownership can feel like the loneliest place on earth. You are probably scratching your head at this because, let’s face it, the horse community is HUGE! And there is no shortage of opinions when it comes to you needing answers. You have a problem, there is always someone offering a solution. But seriously, sometimes you just feel like you are the only one when it comes to making sure your horse is getting the right care.

It is no joke when they say: put five horse people in a room, ask a question and get eight answers…..

I know how “helpful” this can be especially when already came up with six of them all on your own.

All joking aside, when our horse doesn’t feel good, we don’t just fret over his physical discomfort or pain. We also think of the emotional and mental impact it has on him. I know I do. And doing this work has allowed me to tune in even more. I now watch for breathing patterns, the look in his eye, the tone and texture of his coat. It helps me catch things earlier, but it also can make me look totally paranoid to other people. Not everyone pays such close attention to their horse, and what works for me may not work for others. But if you are similar to me, I bet you just take one look and KNOW something is still not quite right.

And when things are not right, we sometimes end up questioning ourselves. Am I being overly cautious? Am I reading into this? Am I overprotective? We call the vet, but nothing really can be diagnosed. Or, the vet says: let’s try giving him XYZ. And you listen, of course. Because your vet spent an inordinate amount of time studying this stuff and accumulating knowledge.

But sometimes things just don’t resolve themselves. And you start questioning everything.

I went through this myself not too long ago. And I was frustrated. I mean FRUSTRATED.

Not only did I feel helpless because I could not seem to help my horse, but it wasn’t getting better but worse. It started out with him not being lame to him walking like an 80-year old, although not every time and certainly not when the vet came out. And my horse tried for me. Believe me, I know the look! He always gives a 120%. So I knew something was really seriously wrong.

“Mom, I am really trying, but I just can’t do it.”

It’s heart-breaking. I learned to take a lot of deep breaths and to hit the proverbial mental “pause” button A LOT! I am a problem solver by design, it’s one of my gifts. But it can also be a challenging trait for others because I just don’t give up and I will keep asking questions. I knew there had to be information and help out there. But it sure felt like I was a one-woman band some days because the diagnosis didn’t make sense (navicular was one option being talked about repeatedly, so were injections, special shoeing … you get the picture). There were many days when I told myself: do I just not want it to be true? Do I really have to face this diagnosis, or that one? Am I nuts that I am the only one seeing it differently? Why am I the only one who thinks this doesn't make sense because there are these other things which don't fit into the picture?

I finally ended up switching veterinarians. I needed a fresh set of eyes and someone who worked similar to me in looking at the big picture. Luckily, I had already started asking around and got some very detailed feedback on several excellent vets in the area.

So when I met Dr. Abby, and my horse LOVED her, I had no hesitation at all. You see, Chase not just liking but loving her was a big part of my decision. He can be very judicious in who he trusts and I now make this part of my evaluation process when deciding on who works with us. A tense horse may hide what’s going on so it was important that Chase felt comfortable with whomever I enlisted to assist us.

I felt we finally found the right support – because we both were being heard, really heard. It had been such a long time that someone wanted to take the time to listen to the hundred little details my brain had recorded. Dr. Abby was so incredibly patient – I can tell you. She deserved an award just for that.

But the most important part was, she was willing to amend her thinking based on my continuous feedback and we ended up working together to solve Chase’s issue. And not only that, she also suggested I bring another veterinarian with a different skill set on board so we could keep making progress.

That’s why I said in my last blog – my horse has a team. In the truest sense possible. Every single one of us has the same goal – to help him. And Chase trusts every one of us, which in itself is an achievement, I can tell you that.

That’s why I no longer feel alone in this. And that’s what I want for you.

Every single experience teaches us something (although there are days when I really would like to take a break from learning another lesson!).

But feeling like you are all alone in this does not have to be one of them.

Chase is now well on his way to recovery and back to work 3-4 days a week. And just this week, I was conferring with his farrier on his hoof balance and adjusting his trimming schedule - another vital part of keeping him happy and sassy. And yes, his red-headed personality is back as well. Which in itself is a double-edged sword, but one I am more than happy to live with.

Most importantly, I know now how supported we are, which gives me peace of mind that, no matter what comes our way, we can tackle it.

And that’s the approach I take here at Healing Hands. I offer full support to my clients. I not only work with their horses, but we also talk strategy on what would be helpful in their riding program, I teach some basic techniques that the owner can utilize to help their horse in between sessions, and I am available to answer any questions at all.

I know how important your horse is to you. I know how much you care for him (or her!) and what an integral part of your family your horse is. And that’s why I take your feedback and your input very serious. Getting results and getting your horse back on track and feeling happy and sassy – that’s the goal. Progress, not status quo.

Give me a call so we can schedule a free consultation to discuss your particular situation. I know I can give you the right help and support.

I recently came across this sentence - YOU ARE YOUR HABITS.

And there is a lot of truth in those 4 simple words. But what really is the definition of "HABIT"?

I went to Merriam Webster, and here is their take:

Full Definition of habit

archaic : clothing
a : a costume characteristic of a calling, rank, or function b : a costume worn for horseback riding
: manner of conducting oneself - bearing ourselves in a certain way
: bodily appearance or makeup, e.g. a man of fleshy habit
: the prevailing disposition or character of a person's thoughts and feelings - mental makeup
: a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior <her habit of taking a morning walk>
a : a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance b : an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary
: characteristic mode of growth or occurrence

And the recorded first use of this term is 1594 - I know I know, I am getting a bit carried away now!

But here is the really important part - AN ACQUIRED MODE OF BEHAVIOR THAT HAS BECOME NEARLY OR COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARY.

So if a habit is something that is nearly involuntary - how do you create good ones? And how do you become aware of the ones you already have?

If we truly want to be successful in creating a good habit, it must be doable. And more importantly, we need to understand the underlying cause of why we currently don't have it and WHY WE WANT TO CREATE IT!

Habits have a very important function - they allow us to move through life without having to decide on every single action we take. They are based on three things:

Reminder - the trigger for the behavior
Routine - the action you take
Reward - the benefit you gain

Most of us focus on the reward. Be it being more fit, riding better, having a well-behaved horse, getting better scores. But are we really conscious of the reminder? The trigger of our OWN behavior? Or our horse's behavior? And are we aware of the seemingly unconscious actions we take?

A good habit develops when we become aware of the trigger and the action and have tuned in to the reward we really want. A bad habit develops when we focus only on the short-term reward - the instant reward.

You create a new habit by attaching it to something you already do.

This is one of the reasons I teach my clients basic bodywork techniques specific to their situation. I very often link them to the grooming routine. You already pick your horse's feet and brush him regularly. So adding one or two things that don't take long builds on your already established routine. Those little things allow you to tune into your horse on a very subtle level - creating a habit of increased awareness to what's going on in your horse's body.

Wouldn't it be helpful if your horse was more relaxed right from the get-go? Wouldn't it be great if you knew he was bothered in his girth area and you'd be able to do something about it before cinching up? Wouldn't it be awesome if you could loosen up his pelvis or relax his poll area before getting on?

Wouldn't you gain a much better performance and better connection, a more trusting relationship?

We typically want to make huge changes, experience massive transformation - for ourselves and our horses. I have found though it's the little things, done every day, consistently, that allow us to see those benefits over time. It allows us to have a conversation, not a shouting match, it allows us to grow into it, instead of feeling like we are failing again when we can't keep up with well-intentioned herculean efforts. It allows us to establish a new behavior without having to think about it every time. It doesn't ask us to re-decide every day.

IT ALLOWS US TO SUCCEED!

I would love to hear what new habits you are willing to incorporate!

I can't be the only one!