Intentions for the New Year - finding more STILL POINTS

As I sit here in front of my computer, the start of a new lunar cycle if you are into it, I am reminded once more how life is so very NON-LINEAR. Even though we have a calendar that organizes our life in ever advancing numbers of days, months, years. Even though we count our age at the passing of our birthday each year (and yes, mine is coming up this month if you must know), I am always reminded that life is cyclical. Ever changing, dynamic, building momentum and slowing down without pause. Like the tides. There is a flow to life, ever present and constant and yet never the same. Always moving and transforming from one moment to the next.

Appreciating this flow has not always been easy for me. For many years, I was driven by "to-do lists", things to accomplish and to get done. A calendar as a task master, emails and texts popping up all the time, a need to respond to everyone else's urgent requests. It did teach me many things though. Most importantly to not make time but TAKE time to refill my own well. However, I had gotten into the habit of ignoring the subtle signs. I was typically reminded when my body said NO MORE. Last year I went through six month of adrenal fatigue that was simply surprising although it should not have been. It forced me to take the time it took, to listen to my body simply demanding I slow down. Not just my body but also my mind. I had to become comfortable with tuning into my own rhythm throughout the year. Noting the changes, the ebb and flow of energy throughout the day, the week, the month. It was a fabulous lesson because I also started paying attention to it in the horses. What an amazing and deeply profound experience and one I am deeply grateful for!

Winter for me has always been a time for deep reflection, even when I tried to ignore it.  Whenever I tried to blow past it before, life had a way of slowing me down. Be it the January cold I would get, or simply exhaustion around my birthday. Winter is when nature rests, regroups, waits and gathers strength to burst forth once again when the days once again lengthen. This year, I really took the time to ask myself: What worked in the past, what I could have done better, where I could have gone deeper, where do I need to sit and be and listen?

In my profession, these moments of quiet are called "Still Points". We encounter them when we listen deeply and intuitively to the body - when we slow down, still our own agenda, quieten our own expectations - and allow the body to lead the conversation. I am repeatedly reminded that I am not the healer, the body is. I am really only the assistant in the most amazing process. A facilitator so to speak.

We also find these still points in our lives if we look close enough. It's those rare moments when you sit and become present. I know you are probably thinking "are you kidding? I don't have time to sit and be present!" Kids to feed or to drive to soccer practice, a husband who needs something for his upcoming trip, your mother calling once again about Sunday dinner, and the never-ending deadlines from your job. A traffic jam because people can't seem to figure out a simple stop sign. I can feel tension in my body increasing just thinking about it! I know it all too well. I was there, am there, will be there in all of those moments, just like you. That's why they are called MOMENTS of stillness!

I get it, really get it, finding stillness in all this chaos seems totally incomprehensible, even unrealistic. And yet, it is precisely those minute moments of stillness that allow life to flow. It is the silence between the notes which allows for beautiful music. Otherwise it's just a bunch of noise.

It's making the choice to take that deep breath at the stop sign instead of drumming your fingers on the steering wheel on the way to the barn when you are already running late. It's the choice of dropping into the moment of brushing your horse instead of thinking you only have ten minutes to warm up. It's choosing this quiet moment so you can find your connection - with yourself, your horse, your upcoming lesson. It's dropping into this very moment. With the subtle communication flowing between the two of you. This moment of stillness allows us to feel into our body and our heart, to feel the energy flowing between you instead of hearing the words endlessly bouncing around our minds.

It's where our horses reside. In their body. All the time. 

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A still still point as I am waiting for Chase to let go - I am learning to sink into these moments with deeper appreciation and reverence

As I progress in my own journey, learning from every horse I touch, feeling for the most subtle rhythms or the absence of one, I am learning to connect not just mentally, but also physically, emotionally and even spiritually. 

To sink into those moments when everything gets quiet, to appreciate it, to not try and race past it in my quest to "get this loosened up". To find reverence in the subtlety the body has to offer. There is a sacredness to these moments we so often miss. 

So why is it so important to stay right there, in this space of seemingly nothing? Because that's where the magic really happens. This is where everything I am looking for resides. The potential of well-being, health, vitality, relaxation, vibrancy, enhanced range of motion, increased flexibility, power. It's there, in this seeming void of nothing that we discover and set free that which enhances and brings back to life all that we aim for. For our horses and our own well being. It requires us to quieten our mind and start listening with our heart, our intuition.

“Intuition is seeing with the Soul.”

— Dean Koontz

So my intention for 2018 is to find more still points. To increase my awareness to the subtleties of all life has to offer. To deepen my practice, to look beyond the obvious. To ask "Why", not "What". To look beyond what tradition has been teaching us and to use more than my five senses and tap into the infinite potential offered to us all.

As we start this New Year with so much promise, as we long for a feeling of aliveness and well-being, I am reminded once more of why I chose "Focus" as my word for 2018. I know, it sounds so opposite of what I just wrote about!

I chose "FOCUS" because it asks me to discern where I really want to spend my time, my efforts, my energy. To be aware of what else is available but to also become still and ask myself the important questions: What will bring more joy, more peace, more vitality? How can I serve better, more deeply, in a more meaningful way? 

If there is one thing I learned from 2017, it is this: I cannot offer what I have not cultivated within myself. Healing, deep and profound healing, occurs when we allow everything else to drop away and find the precise point of where the horse needs to BE to re-balance and heal. 

I would love to hear what your intentions are for 2018. Or maybe you have not really thought about it and now feel inclined to do so. In either case, leave me a note or drop me an email. 

Wishing you the very best for this year!

Daniela

Gaining Awareness Through Movement

Now that the cooler months are here, getting out of bed in the morning requires a bit more mental and physical gymnastics from me. Especially if there is dampness in the air!

Now, I am not a morning person to begin with. So being curled up underneath those nice warm covers is really a luxury, one I am more than grateful for! Getting my body ready for a day's work with horses is key for me to keep going, even when the weather gets a bit challenging. 

I have always been interested in taking care of my body without a lot of medications. I like to address the cause of the problem, not just take a pill. And I have applied this philosophy not just to myself, but also all my animals. Let's just say I love being my own guinea pig in exploring different ways of helping our bodies and our horses' bodies to move with more ease, less pain and greater ease and harmony. 

Chase blissfully enjoying himself - he is such a good teacher for living in the moment!

MOVEMENT IS LIFE

In my last newsletter, I talked a bit about Myofascial Release, especially the John F Barnes method. Today, I want to touch on the Feldenkrais Method - a body awareness technique pioneered by Moshe Feldenkrais utilizing movement. EASY movement. 

Most exercise approaches fall under the heading of "NO PAIN, NO GAIN". I should know, I used to be a serious weightlifter until I injured my shoulder. But this isn't always the most effective way - at least in my experience. Over the years, I have learned about and studied many different ways to help the body regain homeostasis without causing further harm. The Feldenkrais method certainly had been in my sights and I had already played with some components of it. With great success, I might add.

It's unique approach of utilizing movement and vision to re-educate the body fascinated me. Particularly because it also involves the central nervous system including our brain.

INTEGRATING BODY AND MIND FOR LASTING RESULTS

Our brain has cortical maps - maps where our body "assigns brain space" to each and every body part allocating resources for its function and movement. We also have these maps for sensory input, but for now, I am going to only talk about the motor maps.

For instance, body parts with a lot of fine motor function, like our hands, will get more space on this "map" than body parts with simpler movement patterns. 

But what happens when a body part gets injured? Like when I fractured my wrist and had to have surgery? Or when our hip hurts and our body protects itself by tightening up, in essence limiting mobility, and we start compensating?

By experiencing less stimulus, our body now starts moving things around on the map. The space originally given to the aching hip is now allocated to other body parts that have to take on additional duties to compensate. Over time, our body "forgets" this body part and its ability to move! We call this motor amnesia. If you had to have physical therapy after surgery, you will most certainly know how real this is! Examples of this are lack of coordination and muscle atrophy. 

You see, pain is not experienced by the body, it is experienced by the brain. So when we perform bodywork, we not only need to release tension and restriction in a particular area, we also need to re-educate the body to re-establish function. And this means we need to involve brain function without causing more brace and resistance in the body or mind. 

By intiating changes within the brain function, we prolong the benefit of the treatment. This is a GAME CHANGER!

By staying within the "comfortable and easy zone", we show movement is possible and the previously forgotten body part shows back up on the cortical/brain map. Of course it's a bit more complicated than this, but this will give you the gist of what happens. 

Back in September, on my Michigan trip, I got to experience Feldenkrais firsthand. Mary Debono, an excellent practitioner and teacher, showed us several very simple techniques to help us regain mobility in our backs, necks, hips and hamstrings. After spending two days sitting on chairs listening to lectures, well, let's just say, we all were more than grateful to stop limping around!

She then demonstrated the same principles on a horse (who by the way was MORE than happy to partner up with her!).

So why is this very gentle approach so effective? Because we are utilizing body parts we ARE aware of to bring back conscious awareness to body parts we forgot we had. And it is no different for our horses. 

A good example would be the sternum float. By mobilizing the sternum we help bring awareness to the shoulder/thoracic sling, pectorals, ribcage, and even the lumbar area.

Light touch, tuning in, connecting - Riser is really paying attention here!

MOTOR AMNESIA HAPPENS TO ALL OF US! 

A good example of us "forgetting" parts of ourselves is when we start a new exercise program or discipline. How often do you hear  people say: I am feeling muscles I didn't even know I had! And this is typically accompanied by the person walking around sore, stiff and looking painful! 

Most of us also spend way too much time on our smart devices (not very smart, I know!) and in front of computers, sitting in our cars, or in front of the TV. We are immobile! There is actually a new term for this - Digital Dementia. Our altered posture due to these habits also effects our brain function similar to a patient with Parkinson's Disease. Crazy, right?

My own personal experience has shown that when we help the horse regain a better posture, we also effect their behavior. So horses who seemed skittish and spooked at everything suddenly become confident and calmer. Again, body and mind - you cannot separate them.

So what if there was a way to regain mobility, awareness, balance - harmonious, elegant, effortless movement - without having to go through the nine circles of hell to get there?

What if you could become a more effective rider and your horse a better, happier athlete?

That's where techniques such as Feldenkrais come in. By addressing the body as a whole, not just a particular part, we can effect the whole a lot more effectively and without causing more strain and stress.

It is about finding new patterns of non-habitual movement to maximize your and your horse's potential and retrain the brain!

Most exercise or physical therapy approaches only look at our body as a physical structure made up of parts. Most of them use specific "exercises" and movements to address specific body parts to increase range of motion and strength. But this doesn't always work. By making the body move (as I experienced myself after my wrist surgery), we are trying to force a system that cannot be forced. We must bring in the component of mind via the central nervous system. And by doing so we cause the brain to recognize a better, more viable option. This allows for longer lasting results - something we all want!

Which, of course, means a happier horse and better performance for you!

As you can see, I am quite excited about all of this new information. As we speak, I am participating in a 8part series on how the body/brain processes trauma, and how we can utilize a whole body/brain (postural neurology) approach to help release trauma and regain our lives. And of course, my focus is then to bring this to our horses.

Sassy, my late mare, could have benefited a lot from this approach. Due to injuries early in her life and two subsequent pregnancies causing dysfunction in her whole being, she had a lot of difficulties with her hindend. To the point where we could no longer trim her hind feet because she simply could not balance herself. And while I may have regret of not knowing as much then as I do now, I have to give her credit for putting me on the path to learn as much as I could to help her. She was an incredible teacher and I miss her every day.

Therefore, my mission is to bring well-being and ease to as many horses as I can. By educating you, their advocate, and by being their advocate myself.

I hope this gets you interested in exploring bodywork for your horse as being more than just addressing physical issues but rather your horse as a whole, integrated being. Call me to schedule a free consultation!

Learning How To Feel The Horse

Sometimes the question pops up - how did you learn all of this? And as is true for most things in life, it certainly wasn't a straight road without bumps, detours or go-backs.

I originally started out just using the knowledge and tools I had acquired taking care of myself and my own family. I have been interested in an integrative approach to life for a long time. My focus was never on disease or illness, but rather on our amazing ability to heal when we provide the body what it needs. Of course, when I got any new family member, including my cats and horses, I applied what I knew to them and kept learning. I had some really great results and always loved sharing what I found out with anyone who wanted to know.

There came a point though where I made the decision to pursue this as a profession which, of course, included going for professional training! I looked at a lot of schools, programs, resources, got feedback and listened to testimonials. I finally settled on one because it seemed comprehensive and also included the horse's point of view, which was really important to me.

When I went through my initial training, I learned a variety of techniques. Massage, cranio-sacral, pressure point, energy work, acupressure and a variety of others. Later on, I was taught how to do an initial evaluation of the horse. This info would then inform my approach for the particular session. Did the horse improve after I was done? Was I able to release tension so he no longer felt so braced in a particular body part? Was I able to improve the range of motion, e.g. in his stifle? Later on, I learned how to connect the dots even further to help find some of the root causes on what was going on.

Of course, when you are being taught all those things, you are so focused on LEARNING them, you are very much stuck in your head. You want to get the mechanics down because, let’s face it, crawling around the legs of unfamiliar horses or asking them to pick up their feet when things may be hurting – well, your first priority is to not get hurt yourself, to be followed by executing the technique and lastly adding feel to it.

Let’s just say, some of those techniques presented a learning curve for me! And some horses really thrived on teaching me thoroughly.

But the biggest lessons really came after. Every horse presents a different story. In a way, it is really like reading – in reverse – what is going on in his body. As the horse learns to work through and around discomfort, even a slight one, he starts laying down patterns of compensation. When we release them, it’s like peeling an onion – you go from the outside in. The newest ones are close to the surface, you can feel them rather easily. Whereas older ones can be quite tenacious and take a more patient approach. They can feel sticky, like an old label you are trying to peel off little by little. You search around to find the easiest place to start the loosening process. Sometimes that place allows it to let it all go, sometimes you have to work at it. No pattern is ever the same, even if they are similar.

I also had many incredible people enter my life who taught me how to refine and build on that knowledge. If you are passionate about something, you just keep learning. The best mind to cultivate is a beginner's mind - you are always open to possibilities. 

And because of this, my evaluation has changed considerably – it is far less mechanical now. Yes, I still feel for brace and tension, pain and lack of mobility. But there is a subtle flow in the body – something I had to learn to feel for. Softly. Delicately. Intuitively. 

Horses are so incredibly sensitive, we very rarely need to exert tremendous amounts of pressure to see their responses or reactions. Frankly, I get a much clearer picture when I don’t push and poke and probe with might. By using a light touch, I can feel where this flow is interrupted, where it stops, where it disappears, where a tension pattern “hooks into the body”. I can feel a tiny bit of change in the texture underneath my fingers, a change in temperature even. I can feel the tuck and pull.

During my training we had a pretty set way of approaching our session. Of course, this was to help us get into a routine, a guideline to help us learn. To be thorough.

Now, I allow my intuition to guide where I start. It starts with saying "hello" to the horse and then I feel for where the body disconnects first. Why?

Because if I can re-establish flow in the body overall, all the other deeper patterns become much more clear. Second, it helps the horse relax tremendously. It’s like putting it all back together and then addressing the individual parts on a deeper level so they can start functioning in a more optimal way. Everything is connected and influencing and effecting everything else. There are no exceptions.

And that’s the beauty of bodywork. An expert practitioner will never just work on “a problem” – but always the whole. That concept also includes the mental and emotional state of the horse.

Which brings me to my latest bit of focus – it’s really more of an obsession if I am honest.

Science has had tremendous breakthroughs in the last several years. Especially in the areas of quantum physics, quantum mechanics, quantum biology. Some of it may even sound like Science Fiction. And since I have always found the edge of “what we know” very exciting (although I can’t say the same for science fiction), I love the research coming out. It adds an amazing depth of understanding to what I do, especially since horses are such sensitive creatures.

Particularly how mental and emotional traumas are linked to the physical body. You see, when a horse has a traumatic experience, that energy can actually get lodged and stuck in the body tissue. It is known as an “energy cyst”. It has also been found that certain physical patterns in horses correlate with emotional and mental states. And so it comes full circle – everything is connected. As always.

I hope you are as interested and excited about this as I am. Understanding the connections – not just seeing them or feeling them but truly understanding them – can you imagine what this can bring to our relationship and interaction with our horses?

To see, hear, feel them fully? Can you imagine how this will change the very way we interact with them? Can you imagine how long our horses have waited for this level of understanding from us?

I personally cannot wait to see our horses benefit from this. I hope neither can you.

So why should this be important to you as an owner and rider?

When our horses feel heard and understood, they can relax very deeply. I see this all the time when I work on my client's horses and several others are also in a deep trance. This deep relaxation allows me to tune in and help the horse release deep seated tension in his body without him feeling the need to brace against it. 

What are the results you may ask?

• calmer behavior
• more throughness
• increased ability to respond to aids and requests
• increased range of motion
• increased length of stride
• a less reactive horse
• faster recovery from training or showing
• faster recovery time from past injuries
• regaining mobility in previously compromised areas
• overall improvement in well-being and health

These are just some of the benefits. Of course every horse is different. I can help you and your horse create a deeper, more connected partnership. Isn't this what we all want? To be able to connect and dance with our horse?

Call me for a free consultation. Let's start making your dream a reality.

I can't be the only one!

Sometimes horse ownership can feel like the loneliest place on earth. You are probably scratching your head at this because, let’s face it, the horse community is HUGE! And there is no shortage of opinions when it comes to you needing answers. You have a problem, there is always someone offering a solution. But seriously, sometimes you just feel like you are the only one when it comes to making sure your horse is getting the right care.

It is no joke when they say: put five horse people in a room, ask a question and get eight answers…..

I know how “helpful” this can be especially when already came up with six of them all on your own.

All joking aside, when our horse doesn’t feel good, we don’t just fret over his physical discomfort or pain. We also think of the emotional and mental impact it has on him. I know I do. And doing this work has allowed me to tune in even more. I now watch for breathing patterns, the look in his eye, the tone and texture of his coat. It helps me catch things earlier, but it also can make me look totally paranoid to other people. Not everyone pays such close attention to their horse, and what works for me may not work for others. But if you are similar to me, I bet you just take one look and KNOW something is still not quite right.

And when things are not right, we sometimes end up questioning ourselves. Am I being overly cautious? Am I reading into this? Am I overprotective? We call the vet, but nothing really can be diagnosed. Or, the vet says: let’s try giving him XYZ. And you listen, of course. Because your vet spent an inordinate amount of time studying this stuff and accumulating knowledge.

But sometimes things just don’t resolve themselves. And you start questioning everything.

I went through this myself not too long ago. And I was frustrated. I mean FRUSTRATED.

Not only did I feel helpless because I could not seem to help my horse, but it wasn’t getting better but worse. It started out with him not being lame to him walking like an 80-year old, although not every time and certainly not when the vet came out. And my horse tried for me. Believe me, I know the look! He always gives a 120%. So I knew something was really seriously wrong.

“Mom, I am really trying, but I just can’t do it.”

It’s heart-breaking. I learned to take a lot of deep breaths and to hit the proverbial mental “pause” button A LOT! I am a problem solver by design, it’s one of my gifts. But it can also be a challenging trait for others because I just don’t give up and I will keep asking questions. I knew there had to be information and help out there. But it sure felt like I was a one-woman band some days because the diagnosis didn’t make sense (navicular was one option being talked about repeatedly, so were injections, special shoeing … you get the picture). There were many days when I told myself: do I just not want it to be true? Do I really have to face this diagnosis, or that one? Am I nuts that I am the only one seeing it differently? Why am I the only one who thinks this doesn't make sense because there are these other things which don't fit into the picture?

I finally ended up switching veterinarians. I needed a fresh set of eyes and someone who worked similar to me in looking at the big picture. Luckily, I had already started asking around and got some very detailed feedback on several excellent vets in the area.

So when I met Dr. Abby, and my horse LOVED her, I had no hesitation at all. You see, Chase not just liking but loving her was a big part of my decision. He can be very judicious in who he trusts and I now make this part of my evaluation process when deciding on who works with us. A tense horse may hide what’s going on so it was important that Chase felt comfortable with whomever I enlisted to assist us.

I felt we finally found the right support – because we both were being heard, really heard. It had been such a long time that someone wanted to take the time to listen to the hundred little details my brain had recorded. Dr. Abby was so incredibly patient – I can tell you. She deserved an award just for that.

But the most important part was, she was willing to amend her thinking based on my continuous feedback and we ended up working together to solve Chase’s issue. And not only that, she also suggested I bring another veterinarian with a different skill set on board so we could keep making progress.

That’s why I said in my last blog – my horse has a team. In the truest sense possible. Every single one of us has the same goal – to help him. And Chase trusts every one of us, which in itself is an achievement, I can tell you that.

That’s why I no longer feel alone in this. And that’s what I want for you.

Every single experience teaches us something (although there are days when I really would like to take a break from learning another lesson!).

But feeling like you are all alone in this does not have to be one of them.

Chase is now well on his way to recovery and back to work 3-4 days a week. And just this week, I was conferring with his farrier on his hoof balance and adjusting his trimming schedule - another vital part of keeping him happy and sassy. And yes, his red-headed personality is back as well. Which in itself is a double-edged sword, but one I am more than happy to live with.

Most importantly, I know now how supported we are, which gives me peace of mind that, no matter what comes our way, we can tackle it.

And that’s the approach I take here at Healing Hands. I offer full support to my clients. I not only work with their horses, but we also talk strategy on what would be helpful in their riding program, I teach some basic techniques that the owner can utilize to help their horse in between sessions, and I am available to answer any questions at all. 

I know how important your horse is to you. I know how much you care for him (or her!) and what an integral part of your family your horse is. And that’s why I take your feedback and your input very serious. Getting results and getting your horse back on track and feeling happy and sassy – that’s the goal. Progress, not status quo.

Give me a call so we can schedule a free consultation to discuss your particular situation. I know I can give you the right help and support.

Know your tools

Every discipline has their rules - rules about age, where the horse should be training-wise, what tack is to be used, what attire the rider is expected to wear. It really can be quite mind-boggling!

One thing I see over and over again - people use certain tools, such as bits, because it is expected at a certain time in the horse's training, not because it is the best tool to use to accomplish a specific goal.

My main point about this subject is that your tools have a direct effect on your horse's body.

Here are some important questions we should all ask ourselves:

• Does this tool help my horse understand my request?
• Does it help me keep my horse relaxed and connected?
• Do I know how to use it appropriately?
• Am I using it to gloss over a hole in my training program?
• How does it effect my horse's body in general?
• Does it create tension or strain somewhere?
• Do I have to adjust my own riding by using it?

Let's take bits with shanks - they certainly have their place in a horse's education. But a shank will not only amplify the signal, it also delivers the signal much faster. So would you want to place this "fast and loud" message bearer in the hands of someone who has not developed an independent seat and balances on the reins because you are showing a horse at a certain age in a certain discipline?

Should it be used "to slow the horse" because we have not taken the time to develop the basics?

Should we use this bit on a horse who has trouble bending the joints in the hindlegs since it has such a strong effect on those joints? What if we have not developed the tilt of the pelvis, evenly on both sides and a certain degree of collection? What if we have not understood that collection is not about head position but involves the entire body? And if we do, how does it impact not just those joints, but in turn the rest of the horse's body?

Not only does the horse's body tell the story, but so does your horse's behavior.

• Open mouths
• Clamped mouths
• Swishing tails
• Tense muscles
• Short steps
• a worried eye
• Tight lips
• Won't move off the leg
• over-reacts to aids
• won't respond to aids
• runs through the bridle
• won't slow down
• won't go forward
• turns like a steel pipe

It is the rare case where a stronger message becomes a clearer message to your horse. And I have never seen a positive outcome from restricting a horse. Restricting him opening his mouth by using tight nose bands, lifting his head (as in the case of draw reins), restricting forward with the use of strong bits and long shanks. It only serves us, serves us to present a picture that is actually not really there. A horse truly connected to you doesn't need to have his mouth tied shut, or have a certain bit to get him to slow down.

Every time you ignore or prevent your horse from being able to "have his say", you only create the illusion of success.

Those holes will show up time after time - either by damaging your horse's body or by creating mental and emotional resistance.

• Stiff joints
• Tight muscles such as the back or hamstrings
• restricted mobility such as in the shoulders
• resistance to the bit
• "dead mouth"
• lack of responsiveness to your aids

If any of this sounds familiar, you can change it.

You can change it by getting to know your horse's body, by evaluating WHY you are using certain tack, by valuing your horse's feedback and by engaging professionals who put your horse's well-being at the top of their list.

I absolutely know that you will have your decisions questioned, you will encounter people telling you that if you only used THIS THING you would reach your goal quicker, have your horse listen better. And by all means, listen to them. But please evaluate their motives.

If this approach is about MAKING the horse do it versus preparing your horse and CAUSING him to do what you asked, it's not progress in your training.

One of my instructors hammered this into my head over and over again:

Prepare the horse, prepare yourself, then and ONLY then ask

This means we sometimes have to take a step back. Really drill down into the problem we are currently experiencing, listen to our horse. And most of all realize that his feedback and valuing it is the best tool we have. 

Riding is a conversation, if you consistently tell your partner to shut up, it becomes a lecture.

Tools are there to facilitate communication - so have the conversation with your horse that matters.

Look into my eyes and see me

I might be dating myself here, but Bryan Adam's love ballad "Look Into My Eyes" has always been one of my favorite songs.

Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me.
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

It's almost impossible to look into a horse's eye and not see his entire being reflected. Their ability to communicate with their body is just incredible. We as humans tend to use words as our main tool to express what we want to say. We sometimes forget that NON-VERBAL communication makes up the majority of how even we communicate and our horses are masters at reading us - all the time.

But non-verbal communication isn't just body language like gestures. Here are just a couple examples - things we don't necessarily think about:

• The space between the two individuals - we all have had a conversation at a party where the other person crowded us? And it makes us feel really uncomfortable, annoyed, frustrated? I can tell you, every horse has their own personal space - their bubble so to speak. And we need to be aware of how we enter it. Or if your horse WANTS you to enter it. Be mindful of that. So many times we ask them to respect our space yet we don't respect theirs.
• How we present ourselves, how we dress, what jewelry we wear, if we comb our hair or wear make-up. My grandmother always said that we dress for others, not for ourselves. My grandfather never left the house without wearing a tie. Granted, they are definetely from a different generation. But this was one of their ways to communicate respect and also says quite a bit about them, wouldn't you agree? The way we show up at the barn, the attention we give to our tack, the quality of tack we use - it all speaks volumes. Take saddle fit for instance - your horse will have a lot to say if the saddle does not fit! How about the bit you use or how it fits - have you really thought about why you are using specific tools and what impact they have on a horse's body? He won't care if your breeches aren't the most flattering to look at, but he WILL care if you don't pay attention to how your tools impact him.
• The speed of our speech - you know how you start racing when you are unsure of the topic or nervous during a presentation? Or how your speech gets clipped and loud when you are frustrated? I know that when I get unsure, I start babbling. Word garbage - we've all done it, right? Just fill the space with SOMETHING! But the most clear message is in the space within - between the sounds. That's where our horses live - the silent space within. Take some time when you communicate with your horse. I recently mentioned to a friend that my mare really taught me the value of waiting - waiting for her to find the answer. I can't tell you what a difference it has made in our partnership.
• The speed we move at, the stiffness or looseness of our bodies, our posture - this can communicate really clearly the state of our mind. It can signal if we are tired, angry, depressed, loving life, needing a hug.  It can also show that we are somewhere else entirely - our bodies might have shown up, but our minds might be miles away. Our horses don't live in this state at all most of the time, the only time they check out is if they have been totally overwhelmed by fear and panic. So if they see this in you, how could they possibly perceive you as trustworthy?
• The soft or hard look in our eye. Try it out for yourself sometime - look at your horse with soft eyes and see how your body feels. Then look hard at him, not mean, just increase your focus, narrow the field of your vision so to speak. You can definetely feel a tension going down your spine. That tension gets communicated and amplified - your horse feels it. 
• The depth of our breath - when we get scared, we hold our breath. When we are angry, we breath very shallow. By changing our breath, we can change ourselves. 

I read this article and it stated that verbal communication was fast, clear and caused less confusion than non-verbal communication. But I have to say, I disagree with this. 

MORE CONFUSION HAS BEEN CAUSED BY PEOPLE SAYING THINGS THEY DID NOT MEAN, AND MEANING THINGS THEY DID NOT SAY.

How many times has someone said to you - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! - and yet, you knew they didn't mean a word of it because their body language said the exact opposite?

I found that learning to read body language and also becoming aware of my own has really helped me become much more clear in how I present myself to horses and how they respond to me.

It becomes a WHOLE BODY EXPERIENCE very similar to how horses operate.

I am now so aware of how I enter a stall, put on a halter, ask the horse to step back or move over, pick up his feet, ask to enter their space and touch them in areas they are typically defensive about. There is no ambiguity between me and the horse - no misunderstanding, no guessing. There is, however, mutual respect and trust. I honor their integrity and honesty, they in turn honor my honesty by allowing me in where doors once were closed tight.

Look into your horse's eyes. Are they hard, soft, worried, angry? How can you adjust yourself to cause a change? If you become consistent in  your non-verbal communication with your horse, your entire relationship will change. He will learn to trust - what you say is what you mean. He will be able to rely on you. Your connection will be deep and honest. He will give you his all, even when he is scared, confused, not feeling well. It's connection.

Look into my eyes - and you will see. 

If you have enjoyed reading this, leave me a comment. If you would like to learn more about what we do here at Healing Hands, give me a call!

He is loving life right now!

One of my clients and also a friend, Vicky Zionts, recently sent me this message: 

"He is loving life right now!"

She was of course referring to her horse Dude (in the picture if you were wondering) who I had just worked on a couple days before. She even sent me a short video showing him cantering freely in the pasture. I can tell you, it made my day. 

Her horse has a long history of on-off lameness and it caused her quite a bit of frustration. Even though her favorite activity is to just hang out with him, she obviously also wants to ride and make sure he is sound and healthy. And having him be sore and stiff, limping along and not being able to play and run was really effecting her. She decided to invest in a regular maintenance program for her horse.

Having had injuries myself, I can tell you how important it is to keep your body healthy, flexible and strong. A good diet, plenty of rest - all those are important. And exercise is important as well. But how do you exercise when it hurts? When you just can't seem to find a comfortable way of using your body? That's where regular bodywork can really help. Horses are incredibly good at giving feedback on what works and what does not. It's important to be tuned in as a practitioner. To not just work ON the horse, but WITH him. 

Being able to see her horse happy and cantering really was priceless. It's what we all want for them.

If you have thought about Equine BodyWork but are not sure what to look for in a practitioner, pick up my free guide - available at my website.

Email me if you would like to learn more about how I can help your horse to love his life.