Establishing Trust

I realized it's been a while since I put the proverbial pen to paper! And even though I needed a break, I missed it. I missed getting all quiet inside and allowing inspiration to flow. That's what writing this blog has become for me. A flow of things that don't seem to be really mine but rather larger topics concerning our horse community. It allows me to the opportunity to articulate things that are much bigger.

Like the word Trust. And why it matters - especially with horses.

Chase and my late mare Sassy enjoying time outdoors - trusting in each other's peaceful presence

We use this word so often when we speak of our horses - training, our every-day interactions, our expectations. We speak about it in terms of how we NEED our horses to trust us, how to establish it, what techniques to use (gosh, have you ever noticed how MANY techniques we have at our disposal or are being told to use!). And yet, most of the time it speaks of "DOING" - do this, do that, don't do this or that. It really makes my head spin. But it doesn't really address our "being".

Trust is not an action - it is a state of mind.

Trust is one of the most vital "ingredients" in my line of work. A horse bracing against me in any way cannot and will not let go of tension and restriction. As a prey animal, their survival instinct is high. A horse's first defense against perceived danger is flight, and when that doesn't work - fight. Neither one is very helpful when you are working on softness, giving and letting go.

When I am asking them to tune into their body and the subtle changes I am initiating in the body - and trust even though it may feel uncomfortable or unsure - it's like a delicate dance. A give - but never a take. Yes, of course I could take - stretch that leg further, use more pressure. And yet, even the horse's body knows on the most basic level to protect itself against it. You can literally feel it harden and resist when I ask for too much or ask too soon. 

Trust is the basis for all my interactions with horses. It allows me to gain a much deeper understanding of how to communicate with horses effectively.

So how DO I establish trust - especially when I work with a brand-new client? It starts before I even enter the horse's stall. It starts with me.

I learned some big lessons here over time. I couldn't bring all my own "stuff" with me. I had to leave it at the door so to speak. My frustration with traffic or GPS sending me down the wrong street. My headache, or the argument I had with my husband or family member. Horses know immediately when you are not centered, calm and balanced. The brace internally against the chaotic vibration you bring to the table.

And I always say hello. It's amazing how they really appreciate you taking the time to do this. It only takes two seconds but it makes such a difference. Even with horses that I work with frequently, I make a point to say hello each and every time. Most of the time, they are already waiting for me impatiently, head hanging over the stall door or even calling. They absolutely KNOW it's their day! But it's this seemingly insignificant ritual that lets them realize their voice matters.  A LOT. 

The next one is putting on the halter - not just throwing it on but waiting for the horse to drop their head into it. Surrendering to my presence and request.

Trusting me to put them into a piece of equipment that can be used to control their movement, restrict and hold - yes, that takes trust on their part.

All of this iS - the start of letting go - to surrender and give. Not just on the horse's part, but also mine.

Trust is not just an outward expression towards us. It is always a two-way street and most importantly, also works inwards - having a profound effect on every part of the horse's body and mind. It effects the entire Being. It is calming to their nervous system, relaxing to the soft tissues like muscles, tendons, ligaments and fascia and even the digestive system, enabling deep breathing. 

The horse trusting me translates into him telling me where he actually holds his tension and restriction. Without holding back or feeling he needs to protect himself.

During sessions you will often see the breath getting deeper, moving through the body in waves, taking the tension with it and out of the body. You will hear the stomach gurgling, the horse passing gas.  They sometimes even stretch in the most amazing poses. It is really quite amazing where a horse can hold tension if you think about it. 

And what's even better - most horses I work on regularly start releasing tension as soon as I enter the barn. Just my showing up - because they trust me - gets the process started. It's really incredible how establishing trust can help us with those elusive goals of softness, responsiveness - connection.

And it's the basis for performance - no matter what discipline you are riding in.

So if you are interested in learning more about what I can offer you and your horse, give me a call.