There Is Power In Softness
It's a beautiful sunny day today here in our Chicago area. Although I must admit, not nearly as warm as Tucson last week! Enjoying those few days in a warm location in February was such a treat. So I thought I'd share some things about the trip, and about one of the principles taught by Mark Rashid.
The trip certainly started out as a bit of a nail biter since a major snowstorm was moving through the Midwest and many flights were cancelled. I had considered moving my flight but my schedule really didn't allow it. I had a brand new client the day prior to my scheduled departure and an appointment with a chiropractor for my own horse.
My husband got up early to snow blow the driveway that morning (thank you!) and we left for the airport. Traveling can be stressful because you never really quite know what can happen. Over the years, I learned to relax, to surrender to what is instead of driving myself crazy with needing it to be a certain way. It made it all so much easier to soften internally when the news and weather reports kept giving us dire predictions.
It turned out that my flight was delayed by only 45 minutes, the gate was changed only once and the new one was close by. I chose to enjoy a good cup of coffee and a book while waiting. And then we were off.
A stunning view right outside of the room where we were staying
Upon arrival in Tucson, I was met by staff from the White Stallion Ranch. I must say their customer service is simply phenomenal. If you are ever in Tucson, I would highly recommend a stay at their ranch.
As we left the city, the stark landscape of desert and cacti came into view. And suddenly the mountains I had glimpsed out of the window of the airplane appeared. Growing up in Germany and having lived in the Midwest, I was reminded once more that beauty comes in many forms.
A fantastic view from one of the lounge chairs I got to enjoy after lunch one day. The "Indian Oven" to the right was used to cook one of the fabulous dinners we indulged in.
After check-in and a quick tour, we got the explore the beautiful ranch and some of us took a ride in the desert. I had decided against it - not taking my riding boots allowed for less luggage. Instead, I explored the ranch on foot, met up with some people and at 5pm, the conference started with the Meet And Greet and dinner. Jim Masterson shared his vision for the weekend and his desire to not only teach but to also focus on continuing education. He had some incredible professionals lined up and we were all looking forward to broaden our horizons and knowledge. After dinner, we enjoyed a bonfire with live music provided by Mark Rashid and a friend.
The Masterson crew had a full weekend planned for us. Breakfast started at 7:30 in the morning in a communal setting, allowing us to meet more people and chat. Presentations got going early and went all day, even into the evening.
Mark Rashid was up first on Saturday and it was a fascinating presentation on the inherent state of softness in horses, how to develop this softness within ourselves and the bio-mechanics of movement.
Horses at the end of the arena where some of the presentations happened. Take a look at this gorgeous setting!
Mark is an internationally acclaimed horseman who has been working with horses from a young age. His approach includes understanding the horse's point of view and using communication instead of force. He is also a student of the Martial Art of Aikido which he now teaches at his local dojo as "The Way of Harmony".
“Horses live in a place of internal softness.”
When we learn to control, influence and be aware of our internal world, we can meet the horse with an inner softness that the horse can recognize and connect with. This means we have to stop telling ourselves stories. Stories about ourselves, the people around us, our horses and what is happening in our lives.
- She is crabby because she is a mare
- He is stubborn
- He is this way because he was abused early in his life
- She is spooking to get out of work
I bet you could add quite a few more to these examples. We humans are so very good at telling ourselves a story because we want to put things into context. But our horses don't distinguish their emotions from their actions. We are the ones assigning value to their behavior based on our own life experiences and our need to make sense out of everything. I was stunned how many times I still caught myself doing just that even after years of study.
By cultivating a mind like still water, we can finally see things for what they really are. It's like a very still pond, where we can see clear to the bottom, making out and recognizing everything. But the story we create ABOUT what we see is like a pebble we through into this pond, distorting what is.
Our horses always look for physical and emotional comfort. They crave connection. They live there - in this place of connection - because it's part of who they are. They communicate this in very subtle ways - through body language. Where the challenge comes in is that we are sometimes not so good at listening, observing and keeping ourselves in a place of stillness.
What a magnificent sculpture - at night it is beautifully lit and I was tempted to take so many pictures of it!
Mark pointed something out that really got me thinking even more about connection:
- Humans are good at creating openings and directing.
- Horses are good at finding small openings and connecting.
Creating openings could even be us thinking of an interaction we had with someone while we ride. It's unintentional, but it is an opening. And the horse can easily find this opening - created by our wandering mind.
What Mark pointed out to us was that when we create an opening with softness and direct the horse once he finds it, we can connect with him on a very deep level. The opening has to come from our core - our internal state of being permeating outward. Living this softness is key. Sounds simple, right?
“There is strength in muscle and power in softness.”
The above was really my favorite quote from Mark. I strive to live in this place of softness all the time. And although it sounds simple enough, I must admit it is not always easy.
It was especially fun when he demonstrated it by having several of us trying to prevent him from moving (six of us, I might add) and he just softened internally and moved all of us instead. I could feel his energy shift and suddenly all of our energy aligned with his and we just moved even though we did not intend to. It was a very cool experience!
We see this in our horses all the time. When they are relaxed, soft and supple, their movement looks effortless, elegant, fluid, powerful. But when they exhibit stiffness, pain, fear, anxiety etc, we can see it in their bodies and we can feel the strength in opposition - be it a horse who has difficulty stepping underneath, yielding to the leg, or being soft in the hand or, as an extreme example, as a runaway horse. We can feel the muscular strength, but it is very different from the elegant power they CAN exhibit.
Our typical response is to push harder, to pull harder, to sit harder. To iust WORK HARDER!
- Use more leg!
- Drive more with your seat!
- Kick her forward!
But does this really help you create a more powerful connection and performance in your horse?
I learned the principle of softness really well while going through my studies in the Masterson program. Jim constantly talked about softening. Not just our hand, but also our entire body and our mind. To stay in the moment so we could feel into the horse, pay attention to the littlest expressions of relaxation. It was one of the reasons why I had chosen his program.
It was nice to see and hear it from a different angle when Mark talked about it.
Class room time with Mark Rashid before we head out to the arena to evaluate the movement in horses
After learning about softness, we headed out to the arena to take a look at horses and their movement. Since the ranch has 180 of them, we had plenty to work with. Two paint horses were chosen and we looked at their movement at the walk, both under saddle and in hand.
All throughout the weekend, we were reminded not to create a story right away. And this can be really challenging for us bodyworkers! All presenters reminded us that when we work with horses, be it the initial evaluation or while we are actively working with them, we are gathering data. We have to consistently remind ourselves to stay un-critical. It is so easy to make up a story and start connecting dots that may or may not be true. We so want to help horses, our desire to find WHY things are the way they are can really get in the way though.
As we looked at the two horses moving, here are some things we were asked to observe:
- What doesn't look like it should?
- What do I feel in my own body as I watch the horse move? (this applies especially if you are a kinesthetic learner like I am)
- What is not moving?
- What is moving out of synch?
- What does the rider feel?
- Do both sides move equally?
- Is the rider stuck? (you can even evaluate this with the rider just walking next to the horse)
For instance, if the lumbar area of the rider is stiff, it will directly influence the lumbar area in the horse.
Mark then pointed out that teeth have a huge impact on the overall movement of the horse. Which was a great opening for the afternoon session by Jerry Schmidt, an equine dentist. But I will leave this for next week's blog since this one has already gotten quite long!
When I start writing, I never really know where the story will take me, how it will flow. I am clear about the general direction, but the details really do emerge as the words appear on the page. Bodywork, and working with horses, is very similar. Every session starts out with a general intention but the details are determined by the horse on that day, during that session, with all the influences present at that time. The only thing I have complete control over is what I can bring to the table and most importantly, what I leave at the door. Softness is a key component of my work. And I hope I have given you some food for thought so you can bring your relationship with your horse to a whole new level by checking your own inner state of being before heading out to the barn.
Have a great weekend!
Daniela